Til the Sky Turned Blue Book IV
by Jennifoofighter
Summary: The bump in the road...
1. Chapter 1

**This is the same storyI posted a long time ago but I fixed the format. There is no way to do that without making it look like an update. Sorry. **

TITLE: 'Til the Sky Turned Blue – Book IV of VI

AUTHOR: Jennifoofighter

RATING: PG

KEYWORDS: MS, JS, M/OC, D/OC, VM, and friendship all around.

SPOILERS/TIMELINE: Post 'End Game'

ARCHIVE: This is a work-in-progress so do not archive until it is complete. I am sure I'll be messing with certain parts as the story progresses.

DISCLAIMER: Hank and Co. own everything _Without a Trace_. No copyright infringement is intended...yada, yada, yada, I get nothing but the satisfaction of having them do what I want if only for a little while.

NOTE: Thank you Pru for the 'Book' idea. It makes it much easier to organize.

SPECIAL THANKS: Sammy and Broni, Thank you for the reviews, the constructive criticism, and most of all, the encouragement to actually post it. You guys rock.

AUTHORS NOTE: I am asking you to take a journey with me. For some it might be a bumpy ride but I promise that you will be very happy once we arrive at the final destination.

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"_Hearts cannot be broken, they're small squishy things. They don't break like glass but they bruise easily. This one you bruised." - Judybats, 'Being Simple'_

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The red and gold leaves of autumn dried and wilted before dropping down to their timely death on the cold, hard pavement making a crunchy sound when Martin's running shoes stepped on them. He loved running in this kind of weather; the cold air stinging and burning his lungs with each inhalation and his breath visible with every exhalation. Running allowed him to think clearly, to work things out in his head. Unfortunately, as was the case every time he ran, his thoughts wandered to Sam.

During the day as he followed leads and interrogated witnesses, Martin wanted to believe that what he did was the right thing to do; that ending things with Sam was ultimately the wisest decision since they both saw their futures very differently. That it was best to end it before they both became too invested in the renewed relationship. He told himself that he needed to be practical and find someone who wanted the same things in life that he did. He was thirty-six years old and he'd like to start a family and have his kids out of diapers long before he had to start wearing them himself. If he really wanted to be a father and a husband he needed to be with someone who wanted to be a mother and a wife and Sam made it pretty clear that was not what she wanted.

But late at night or in the early morning before the sun rose, he was haunted by his decision. He felt enormous waves of guilt, doubt and regret that he might have acted prematurely and ended things with a woman who made him feel more than any other person he ever knew. Maybe if he had given her more time she would have changed her mind. After all, the things he wanted ten years ago were not necessarily the same things he wanted today. To make matters worse, whenever he closed his eyes he kept seeing the hurt look in her eyes when he told her it was over – for the second time in less than five months.

The weeks following their break-up, Sam resumed her cold and distant demeanor around him only this time he knew that he truly deserved it. She put everything she had into trying to make it work and he basically threw it back in her face and said, 'It's still not good enough.' She only spoke to him when she absolutely had to and her answers where always curt and short. And while the words may have been 'yes,' 'no,' or 'here's the file' there was no mistaking the underlying tone of 'fuck you.'

Martin finished his run and returned home sweaty and spent. He tossed his keys on the table and headed to the bathroom, kicking off his running shoes and stripping off his hoody and t-shirt along the way. As he passed through the bedroom he saw his message light blinking so he walked over and pressed the 'Play' button, groaning aloud when he realized who it was that left the message.

"Good morning, idiot. It's mom. Reese is in labor and the doctor predicts that she should have the baby sometime today. It looks like the newest member of the family will be here by Thanksgiving after all. I just wanted to let you know what's going on and I'll be sure to keep you updated as things progress. Love you, bye." Katherine paused before quickly adding, "Oh, have you come to your senses and begged Samantha for forgiveness yet?"

Sam wasn't the only woman mad at him for breaking it off. His Mom was more than a little bit upset with him. He had hoped that when he told her the reason she would understand but apparently he underestimated just how fond she had become of Sam.

XXX

"_What do you mean you and Samantha broke up?" Katherine demanded. _

"_Exactly what I said, we broke up. We wanted different things for the future," Martin replied into his cell phone as calmly as possible. "Aren't you the woman who has been pestering me for the last ten years to settle down and start a family? I thought you'd be on my side." _

"_Martin, you can't just tell a woman that she either has to birth your babies or hit the road. Honestly, how could I have raised such an idiot?" Katherine was fuming. _

"_She said she could never see herself getting married and having kids. What was I supposed to do? Wait around and see if she changes her mind?" _

"_If you really love her, then yes, you should," his mother replied definitively._

XXX

Martin hit the delete button, frowning at the machine. While he was excited to hear that his new niece was on her way, he was sick and tired of his mom's constant criticism. He needed to believe that ending things with Sam was for the best because he knew that there was no going back on it now.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

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Sam sat at her desk going through her emails. She glanced at the clock on her computer screen and mentally calculated that she would be in Kenosha in less than 28 hours. Just thinking about it had her in nervous knots for the last few weeks. She still wasn't sure what possessed her to agree to go home for Thanksgiving but she had no problem putting the blame on Martin. He had made her more optimistic about family. It was sickly ironic that the one thing he gave her hope about is the very reason he broke up with her.

Her mom, Diane, and sister, Bridget, had been calling her constantly for the last week confirming details about when she would arrive, who would be picking her up in Milwaukee, who she was staying with on which night, and generally driving her nuts with ridiculous questions. She wished she was as excited as they were; she was trying but so far she was more apprehensive than ever.

"I'm going to get some coffee, you want some?" Sam heard Danny ask. She turned and saw him standing up at his desk looking over at her.

"Yeah, but I need to stretch my legs so I'll go with you." Sam grabbed her mug as she stood up and headed down the hall with Danny.

"So, are you getting excited about your visit to the land of Cheese Heads?" Danny joked.

Smiling, Sam replied, "Go Green Bay. What about you, what did you and Emma decide?" She knew that they were debating on where to spend the holiday. She wanted to go see her family and he wanted to spend it with his.

"We are going to spend Thanksgiving with her family since we just had dinner with Rafi and Sylvia. The tricky thing will be Christmas." Danny removed the coffee carafe and poured Sam and himself a cup. "We'll spend Christmas eve with my family and then Christmas day with hers in Jersey. I'm on call so I just hope we can pull it off."

At that moment James, the tech, walked in and asked Danny if he saw some game on TV last night. While they were talking Sam studied Danny and couldn't help but envy him. He was so casual about making plans on where to spend the holidays with a girlfriend. He and Emma seemed to have no problems making plans about their future. She couldn't help but recall that this time last year Martin had tried to convince her to go with him to his uncle and cousins but after her third refusal he had finally given up.

And then the memory of his visit afterwards drifted into her mind.

XXX

_He showed up at her door on Thanksgiving night holding two large bags of Tupperware containers filled with leftovers. It seemed the Toland's were lunchtime eaters. Grinning, Martin asked, "Hi, have you had dinner yet?"_

"_No," Sam replied, giving him a quick kiss hello before letting his pass to take the food to the kitchen. "What's all this?"_

"_Jamie insisted that I bring you some food back."_

"_That's way too much. I can't eat all of that."_

"_Good." He pulled out three small containers and put them on the counter. "Those are yours, the rest are mine." _

_She suddenly felt very insulted. "You get all of that and I only get this?" _

_Martin just laughed, pulled her close and kissed her before replying, "Well, if you're nice, I might share."_

_They stayed there kissing for a few beats and then they both pulled back and started focusing on the food. Sam hadn't actually made her dinner yet so this really was a pleasant surprise. Martin dished out the food, asking her what she wanted and then put the plates in the oven warm up. She eyed the containers containing the desserts and when his back was turned she popped the lid off of one and stuck her finger into the pumpkin cheesecake. It was amazing. She went in for second helping when he turned back around and started laughing at the sight of her. _

"_It's good isn't it?" _

_Sam just nodded her head as she licked her fingers. Smiling coyly at Martin as she picked up the container and with delicate fingers she broke off a big chunk of the dessert. Getting the hint, he walked over, placing a hand on either side of her, leaning in close as she fed him. He kept his eyes on her as he slowly ate the sticky, sweet dessert. When he reached her fingertips he sucked the digits slowly and Sam moved in to kiss him. As the kiss deepened she snaked her arms around his neck while he moved his hands to cup her ass, lifting her onto the counter. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him tightly to her. His hips automatically thrust against her…._

XXX

"What do you think Sam? Sam?"

Startled out of her reverie, her eyes went wide and focused on Danny who was waving his hand in front of her face. "Huh? Sorry, what did you say?"

Danny smirked and said, "You okay? You were zoned out and now you look a little flushed."

"I'm fine. Just thinking about all the stuff I have to do before I leave." She silently cursed her momentary lapse and wanted to get out of there fast. "I better get back to work. See you guys later."

Sam hurried out of the break room furious that the thought of Martin could still have this effect on her. She mentally reminded herself, 'You hate him. You don't need him. You don't care about him. You don't love him.'

She repeated that mantra over and over, praying that if she said it enough she would finally believe it.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

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Viv opened the oven door and was instantly greeted by a blast of heated air. She peeked at the color of the turkey, deciding to give it another fifteen minutes and it should be done to a nice golden brown. She basted the bird and quickly shut the oven door.

She turned around to find Reggie assaulting the potatoes as if he had a vendetta against them. "Reg, I think the potatoes are good and mashed."

He looked up at her and shrugged. "Can I go watch TV?"

Viv sighed and replied, "Sure."

Reggie darted out of the kitchen to the living room. She could still remember when he used to beg her to let him help and she sometimes missed the sweet little boy who would do anything to please his mama. Now, he was a sullen teenager who acted like the simplest task was the equivalent of climbing Mount Everest. To say that she was looking forward to him moving out of this stage of adolescence was the understatement of the year.

Viv walked to the fridge and started pulling out all the ingredients for the salad when she felt a sharp pain in her chest. She braced herself against the refrigerator door, closed her eyes and tried to catch her breath. When the pain subsided she placed all the veggies on the counter and sat down on the stool. This was not good.

The doorbell rang and she heard Marcus's voice, "Hey, Jack. How are you? Hello Hanna and Kate."

Jack and his kids were here.

Viv closed her eyes, took another breath and got to work on the salad. She refused to think about what this little episode meant today. It was Thanksgiving, damn it, and she was going to be thankful for being alive to celebrate it.

XXX

"Need any help?' Jack asked as he hovered in the doorway to the kitchen.

"Sure," Viv replied as she waved him over. "Can you grab those plates over there?"

Jack nodded his head, rolled up his sleeves, and picked up the stack of dirty plates. Viv turned back to the sink and continued rinsing off the glasses before placing them in the dishwasher. He placed the dishes next to the sink and began scraping the random bits of food into the garbage disposal.

"As usual, dinner was great," Jack said casually.

"Thanks." Viv noticed that the entire evening Jack was subdued and that things seemed to be tense between him and Hanna. "So, how's the visit going with the girls?"

"It's fine, good. Kate seems to be having fun."

"And Hanna?"

A look of anguish crossed his face and he looked down as he quietly said, "Hanna…..hates me."

She shook her head and said, "I'm sure she doesn't hate you. She's just trying to deal with everything…."

"She found out about the affair." Jack looked up and met Viv's gaze.

"How?" She could not imagine how difficult it would be for Jack to know that the daughter who already had enough reasons to pull away now had a new big one.

Jack clenched his jaw and said, "Maria told me that 'Bernie' her attorney was over for dinner last week and Hanna overheard them talking about it. She said she thought Hanna was asleep in bed."

Viv sighed sadly and said, "Jack, I'm so sorry. What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I have no idea what I could tell her. No matter how many ways I could put it, I'm still the father who was never around and cheated on her mom. How do you put a positive spin on that?"

Viv just looked at him, not knowing what to say. He was right. There is no way to explain the reasons a father has an affair to his pre-teen daughter. So she just rubbed his arm and gave him a sympathetic smile. Jack gave her a sad smile in return before they both returned to the task at hand. They worked in companionable silence for a couple of minutes, each lost in their own thoughts.

"Hey, I thought we had a deal? You cook, I clean," Marcus announced as he walked into the kitchen. "You said you were coming in here for more wine."

Viv looked back and forth between the two men in the kitchen and said, "You're right. Here." She handed Jack the plastic dish brush and walked over to fridge and poured herself a glass of white wine. "Well, get to it men; those dishes aren't going to clean themselves."

Marcus and Jack both shook their heads and laughed before getting to work as the lady of the house instructed.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

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"I can't see them; they're walking behind the trees." Allison turned to Jamie and said, "You and Ron need to hire a gardener or something. They are way too overgrown."

"Shut up and just tell me what you see," Jamie whispered as she hovered behind Allison trying to peek out the backdoor window. She was eager to see how her match-making skills were working.

"Okay, he's gesturing with his hands. Oh, God, I think he's talking about fishing." Allison groaned. "Wait a minute, she's actually laughing. She must really like him if she thinks talking about fly fishing is funny."

"Move aside, it's my turn." Jamie pushed her younger sister aside so she could press her face up to the window. "Okay, now they're sitting on the patio furniture. Hey, they're sitting right next to each other. How sweet is that?"

"Maybe you guys should give them some privacy," Martin commented as he leaned against the kitchen counter watching his cousin's nosiness bemusedly.

Both Jamie and Allison looked back and stuck their tongues out at him. He returned the gesture before laughing.

A few months ago, Jamie ran into Francie Newman at a church function. She was widowed around the same time as her dad, Roger, so she arranged for the two of them to get together for coffee. It seemed to have worked because Roger had been seeing quite a bit of her in the last few months. He even invited her to join the family for Thanksgiving at Jamie's house which, in and of itself, was quite a big deal. As much as Martin and his cousins missed Bonnie they knew that she would want Roger to be happy and not mourn for the rest of his life. They were pleased that he seemed to finally be moving on.

"Ava is out like a light," Ron, Jamie's husband, announced as he walked into the kitchen carrying a baby monitor. He took in the scene playing out in front of him before turning to Martin. "They're still at it?"

"Yup," Martin laughingly replied.

Jamie moved away from the door and walked back into the kitchen. Allison resumed her post.

"It's just so nice to see dad be cheerful again," Jamie said as she walked back to the kitchen island to finish storing the leftovers.

"Plus, you like taking credit for it," Ron replied.

"And there's that too," Jamie happily chimed.

"Maybe you could use some of those matchmaking skills on Marty here," Ron said as he moved to wrap his arms around Jamie from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"She's not allowed because Aunt Katherine would kill her," Allison commented aloud.

"She's still ticked off at you about Samantha, huh?" Ron asked.

"You could say that. She stopped calling me Martin and now refers to me as 'idiot,'" Martin replied without humor.

"Well, she's got a point," Jamie said as she glanced over at Martin while spooning yams into a container.

"He is an idiot," Allison added.

"I can't believe that there isn't one single woman on my side about this. I would have thought that you would appreciate my reasons but instead you guys are constantly attacking me," Martin responded defensively. There were only so many times a man could take being called an idiot.

"We don't think you are an idiot for your reasons just for your method. Face it, Martin. You handled the entire situation terribly." Jamie put the lid on the container and burped it. "I only met Sam as your partner but I saw how easy she was with Ava. She may say she doesn't want kids but there is something maternal in her."

Martin looked at Jamie and considered what she said. He recalled how tender Sam was with him as he broke down. She didn't make him feel embarrassed about grieving and crying in front of her. It was one of the reasons he was so attracted to her. Suddenly he lamented that it never occurred to him to talk to one of the many women in his life before doing something as rash as breaking it off with Sam.

He gave Jamie a slight tilt of his head indicating he understood what she was telling him and couldn't help but appreciate how much she was like her mother. Wordlessly he walked to the counter and got a big piece of pumpkin pie and stuffed it into his mouth. At times like this he needed some comfort food. He was mid-chew when Allison jumped back and ran into the kitchen in a tizzy.

"What is it?" Jamie asked worriedly.

"Dad is kissing Francie Newman!"

The four of them went wide-eyed and looked around at each other before running to the back door laughing so they could see for themselves.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

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Sam wrapped her sweater tightly around her as she sat back on the sofa in her mom's trailer. She had forgotten how cold the fall weather was in Wisconsin. This was her second night home in Kenosha and she was whipped. Her sister, Bridget, had her going non-stop from the moment she picked her up at the airport right up until the cleaning up of the dishes after Thanksgiving dinner. It was strange to see with her own eyes all the stuff she heard about over the phone. She hadn't seen her family in person for so long and she couldn't believe how different they looked while still looking the same. The biggest surprise was how content everyone seemed. Her sister seemed very happy being married to Will and a mother to Terri.

She was sorry that she wasn't more active in Terri's life. Her young niece seemed to have realized it too because she was constantly at her side asking questions about when she and Bridget were little girls. She enjoyed telling Terri about all the mischief she and her older sister used to get into. It gave her six-year old niece a thrill when she told her that she looked exactly like Bridget at that age and that earned her a big smile in response. The tricky part was when Terri started asking Sam when she would have some cousin's to play with but she managed to distract her with more stories. It wasn't an easy task. It didn't help that Sam got the impression that Terri wanted a sister of her own. She was sad for her and wasn't sure what Bridget had told her about why she didn't have any siblings. After Bridget had Terri other children were no longer an option. Sam refused to think about the fact that her sister, who loved being a mom, couldn't have any more children while Sam just decided that she wouldn't.

Fortunately though, tonight she was staying at her mom's place because as much fun as she was having at her sister's house she was used to having a little time to herself. So when her mom asked if she wanted to stay with her tonight she jumped at the opportunity. Her mom's place was bound to be more sedate.

"Hey, want one?" Sam looked up and found her mom, Diane, standing next to her holding out a beer.

"Sure. Thanks," she answered as she accepted the beer. One of the most unusual aspects of her visit was how relaxed her mother was. She had never seen her so chill. Diane sat down next to her. Sam yawned and said, "Sorry, I think that tryptophan is kicking in."

Her mom smiled at her and said, "So, did you have fun at Bridget's?"

"Yeah, that Terri is so cute and smart. I can't believe she's six years old already."

"Tell me about it. She's growing up so fast." Diane smiled and leaned back into the sofa. "And she is so much like Bridget was at that age. I love it. That's one of the many positive parts of being a grandma, everything comes full circle." She winked at her and smiled.

Sam brought the beer bottle to her lips, took a long drink, and said, "You seem like you are doing really good, Mom."

Diane smiled. "Thanks. I was thinking the same thing about you. How are you doing, Samantha?"

"I'm good," she lied. "Work is always keeping us busy but I love what I do."

Diane gave a heavy sigh and said, "I know you broke-up with your boyfriend but you never told me what happened."

"We just wanted different things," she quietly replied.

"Like what?"

She licked her lips and answered, "Kids and marriage."

"That's tough. It's hard to find a man who wants to be a father and husband." Diane reached over and brushed Sam's hair away from her face. "I'm sorry to heart that, I know you really cared about him."

Sam quickly glanced at her mom before returning her focus back on her beer. She took a long drink and then softly said, "It wasn't him; it was me. He broke-up with me because I don't want to get married and have kids."

She could feel her mom's eyes on her so she carefully shifted her focus entirely on removing the label on the beer bottle, starting with gently pulling on one corner.

Diane cleared her throat and asked, "You don't want those things?"

"No." Sam shook her head, finally looking at her mom. "You sound like that surprises you."

"It does. I mean you got married when you were eighteen…"

Sam turned her head and stared at a fruit bowl across the room. She sighed heavily and said, "You know why I married Dennis."

Out of the corner of her eye, Sam saw her mom grit her teeth at one of the many sore spots in their life. Her mom hated Dennis Gellar and that was a big part of his appeal. She probably married him more out of spite than love.

Diane cleared her throat before beginning, "I know but I guess I thought that was an act of rebellion against me. I didn't think you were sour on marriage and motherhood in general."

"I think it'll be better to just not have kids than to wake up one day and regret having them." She lowered her eyes and finished, "To wish my life was different."

"What does that mean?" Sam eyes refused to look up so Diane leaned in towards her and put her fingers on her chin, turning her head to face her. "Is that what you think I do?" Sam shrugged her shoulders as her eyes welled with tears. "Oh, baby, no. I regret not having more time to spend with you and Brig. I regret not having enough patience or money but not once did I regret having you and your sister. You girls are the best thing I ever did. You're the most amazing people I know. I mean, look at you: you're so beautiful and accomplished. I am so proud of the woman you've become."

Sam just sat there as tears rolled down her cheeks. Her mom pulled her into a tight embrace and said, "Sweetie, I'm so sorry if I ever made you feel for one second that I regretted having you." She was crying into her mom's shoulder but she still heard her mom's voice choke up. They stayed like that for a few minutes until Sam pulled up and started wiping her tears from her eyes. Her mom had tears on her face as well but she just focused on making sure Sam was okay.

"I've missed you mom," she said softly.

"I've missed you too, Samantha."

No matter how hard Sam tried, the damn tears kept coming so she decided to do something that always made her feel better when she was a kid. She leaned over and put her head on her mom's lap and cried. Diane gently rubbed her back and stroked her hair.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

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Danny wandered around the spacious guest bedroom at Emma's parent's house. Maybe he should call it a mansion; it was gigantic. While he knew Emma's father was a cardiologist and she was raised in an affluent suburb of New Jersey it was an easy thing to overlook when they lived so far away from it all. But standing here in the face of Emma's upbringing nagging doubts started to seep into his mind. At dinner, the family reminisced about all the fun family stuff they did; vacations to Hawaii and Europe and staying at summer houses in the Hamptons. Her life was the polar opposite of Danny's childhood. He wondered what she was doing with him; he could never offer her the kind of life she grew up with on a G-man's salary.

On the drive up, Emma had informed him that her mom already knew everything about him: Rafi's problems with the law, his family, his parent's death, and his own alcoholism. She said she wanted him to feel comfortable and to not worry about just being himself. There was a part of him that was really annoyed that she would do that but then he also knew that she was close to her mom and had most likely told her while they were in the early stages of dating and not necessarily as a big warning about the man she was bringing home to meet the family.

Her mom was so friendly and welcoming. Her brother, Randy, and sister-in-law, Rachel, were too. Unfortunately, her dad was more difficult. He was constantly asking questions about Danny's background, what school he went to, what his plans were for the future. He wasn't cold exactly but it was clearly obvious that he was sizing him up. Danny couldn't exactly blame him. He knew if a man brought his own daughter home he would most likely respond the same way. But it still stung that her dad most likely didn't think he was good enough for his only daughter.

He couldn't get too mad because Rafi did treat Emma differently because of her upbringing too. He recalled the dinner they had at Rafi and Sylvia's apartment the weekend before.

XXX

_They were sitting around the dining room table eating dinner. Rafi sat at the head of the table with Sylvia on his right and Nick on his left. Danny and Emma sat on the other end. _

"_Sylvia, everything is so great. You're a great chef," Emma said, looking over at Sylvia with a friendly smile on her face. "I'm sure Danny wishes I knew how to cook as well."_

"_Thank you. I love to cook," Sylvia replied as she took a drink of her iced tea. _

_Nicky smiled and with a beaming smile said, "My papi says that she makes the best arroz con pollo in the world." _

"_Yes, she does." Rafi grabbed Sylvia's hand. "Do you cook Emma?" _

"_A little but not much, I wish I had more time to, though," Emma replied casually. "Lasagna is my specialty." _

"_Hey, you're a better cook than Sam," Danny interjected. While Emma may have thought Rafi was just being curious, he knew his brother was trying to point out her shortcomings. _

"_That's the best compliment you can give?" Emma joked with a look of feigned hurt. "I think I'm insulted."_

_She laughed and punched him playfully on the shoulder. He grabbed her hand, kissed it and said, "I'm just kidding. You know I love whatever you make." _

_She smiled and leaned forward to give him a quick kiss. When they broke apart, Nicky quickly asked, "Are you really a doctor?" _

_Emma turned her attention back to the little boy and replied, "Yes. I work at St. Andrew's. In fact, did you know that's how I met your uncle Danny?" _

_Nicky's eyes went wide and he asked, "Really?"_

"_Really," Danny replied as he casually rubbed Emma's back. "She was a bossy one too." _

_Emma gave him an annoyed but bemused look before turning back to Nicky. "I was only bossy because he was a terrible patient who refused to listen to me." She winked at Nicky and he smiled. _

"_Where did you grow up, Emma?" Rafi asked; his voice serious and low. _

"_Ramsey, New Jersey," Emma replied as she took a drink of her iced tea._

"_I worked a few odd jobs there. That's a pretty fancy neighborhood." Rafi's tone was cool but Danny knew him well enough to recognize the cynicism underneath._

"_Yeah, I guess it is," Emma replied unashamed. _

"_Rafi…" Danny warned. The two brothers exchanged a silent warring of eyes when Nicky spoke up again, unaware of what was going on._

"_Did you bring your medical bag?" Nicky interrupted, completely oblivious to the tension around him. _

_Emma gave him a warning look to behave himself before turning to his nephew. She smiled and said, "I can do you better than that. I'll be right back, excuse me." She squeezed Danny's hand before getting up and walking to get her purse. _

_While she walked to where her coat and purse sat, Danny saw Sylvia lean over with a menacing look on her face and whisper something in Rafi's ear. Whatever it was she said must have worked because Rafi turned and mouthed, 'I'm sorry, bro.' and lifted his glass up to Danny who returned the gesture. _

_Nicky's eyes were completely focused on what Emma was doing and managed to miss the entire exchange. Emma returned to the table and handed Nicky a wrapped gift. Danny had no idea how she managed to keep it hidden for most of the night. His nephew made quick work of unwrapping it and gasped when he saw what it was: an official looking medical bag. He popped it open and inside was a real stethoscope, thermometer, bandages, tape, and other things that were completely fascinating to a kid. _

"_What do you say, Nicky?" Rafi said smiling along with Sylvia at how excited Nicky was by his gift. _

"_Thank you so much aunty Emma." He grinned from ear to ear as he pulled out the stethoscope and asked, "Can you show me how to use it?"_

"_Sure." Emma smiled back. _

"_Hey, we can go give Julia an exam," Nicky declared and Danny noticed that Sylvia turned pale at the thought._

"_I think she's still too small for you to examine," Emma replied quickly. "You have to be really careful with babies but I think your uncle Danny might be a willing patient. Maybe you can figure out why his head is extra-hard." _

_Nicky laughed and rushed over to start his examination while Danny glared at Emma who just laughed. _

XXX

There was a knock at the door and before Danny could move to answer it, Emma walked inside.

She closed the door behind her and asked, "Are you all set up in here?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

Emma smiled as she walked up to him, pressing herself to him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I hate not being able to sleep with you tonight."

Danny kissed her lightly on the lips and murmured, "Me too but I'd rather sleep alone for one night than risk your father's wrath."

She smiled between kisses and said, "Dad's bark is much worse than his bite. My mom says he wants to think of me as his little girl for the rest of his life."

He gave a little laugh and replied, "No wonder he hates me. He thinks I've defiled his daughter."

This time Emma laughed. "'Thinks?' I'm pretty sure he knows that is a fact." She kissed him hard on the lips, her fingers playing with the hair on the back of his head.

Every time he kissed her he couldn't help but think this is what heaven would be like. Unfortunately, her kisses also lead to other thoughts. He suddenly got very worried because he could feel himself getting aroused and considering where they were it was not a good thing.

He gently broke the kiss and stepped back, "You better go."

She smiled at him mischievously and purred, "Are you sure you want me to go?"

"I didn't say I want you to go, I said you better go. I did notice that we are right next door to your parent's room."

Emma pouted and replied, "Okay, I'll go." She gave Danny a quick kiss and move to leave before turning around and adding, "Oh, by the way, my bedroom is the last door on the right on the other side of the house, far, far away from my folks. Maybe you could use some of that fancy F.B.I. training to sneak down the hall, say around midnight?"

He was surprised by her boldness but couldn't deny it was an intriguing invitation. He gave her a surprised look before he finally replied, "You know, I do have to brush up on my training…."

Emma winked at him and closed the door behind her.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

XXXXXXX

Martin was walking out of the tech room when he ran smack into Sam causing her to drop her files all over the floor. Shit. He mumbled a quick "Sorry" as he moved down to retrieve the files. Unfortunately, she moved at the exact same time, causing them to bump heads.

He was worried that she was going to get seriously ticked off but to his eternal surprise, she laughed. He gave her a puzzled look as she rubbed her head with a silly grin on her face. What in the hell was going on?

"How about I stay here and you get them?" Sam said, still rubbing her forehead.

"Right," Martin replied warily. He had no idea what was going on but he was not about to challenge it. He crouched down and picked up the mess of papers and manila folders. He straightened them out and stood up to hand them back to her. "Here you go. Sorry about that."

"Don't worry about it." Sam said cheerfully. She paused and a few beats later asked, "How was your Thanksgiving?"

"Good." Martin's mind was spinning. Sam wasn't angry at him and she was being friendly. He decided to embrace it and asked, "What about yours? How was Kenosha?"

"It was great. I actually had a lot of fun catching up with everyone." She smiled.

"That's wonderful. I'm sure they were really happy that you went."

They stood there staring at each other until they heard someone clearing his throat behind them. Martin turned around and saw James giving him an annoyed look. It was then that he realized that he was blocking the doorway.

"Sorry," he apologized as he moved aside so the agent could pass.

"Um, I should get these to Jack." Sam hesitated as she looked him over like she wanted to say something but change her mind. "See ya."

"See ya." He watched her walk away and thought maybe there was hope for their friendship if nothing else. He turned and headed to the bullpen where he found Danny and Viv sitting at the conference table looking at pictures.

"New case?" Martin asked as he approached.

"No, Danny wants to show off new pictures of his niece and nephew." Viv smirked as she slid the photos towards Martin.

"I'll look at yours if you look at mine," Martin told Danny as he pulled out his cell phone and waved it in the air.

"Sure. Let's have it."

"Meet Claire Elise Watkins, 6lbs 4 oz." He handed Danny the phone with the images that Parker had sent him of his newborn niece. She may have the Watkins' last name but she looked like a Fitzgerald: big blue eyes, blonde hair, and a tiny pug nose.

Danny leaned towards Viv so she could look at the photos too.

"She's gorgeous. How's Reese doing?" Viv asked with her eyes on the cell.

"She's good but really tired. She said she and Scott are operating on auto-pilot," Martin commented as he flipped through the photos Danny brought in. Rafi's daughter Julia was a beautiful little girl with big brown eyes and lots of curly brown hair. He stopped at a photo of Nicky holding his sister with a careful look of concentration on his face. "Julia has gotten so big."

"Just be careful you don't make any linebacker jokes around Sylvia. I learned that the hard way," Danny joked.

"Learned what the hard way?" Sam asked as she walked up to the table.

"To not make jokes about a baby's weight. We're comparing pictures. Did you bring any pictures of your niece?" Danny casually asked as he continued to scan through Martin's cell phone images.

Martin looked over at Sam who smiled and replied, "You bet." She walked over to her desk and pulled a packet of photos from her desk drawer before walking back over. She pulled out the first one and held it up for everyone to see and announced, "This is MY niece, Terri Anderson."

They all sat down and began sharing photos and stories of being an uncle and aunt. Viv, who was feeling left out, brought out the latest pictures of Reggie from his last basketball game so she would have something to share.

While they were all joking and telling stories about how crazy kids could be, Martin looked over at Sam. He couldn't help but notice how happy she looked – but in a different way than she usually did. She looked softer, like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. He didn't know what happened on her trip home but whatever it was she was certainly the better for it.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

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"Are you sure he's here to see Martin? Martin Fitzgerald?" Danny asked the escorting agent while eyeing Edward 'Eddie' Molina standing in the waiting area near the elevator. He was about sixty years old, had long brown hair with gray streaks that were tied into a ponytail and a scarred face with a thin mustache. Molina had a strong muscular build and numerous tattoos that were visible even with his shirt sleeves coming down to his elbows. Danny quickly sized him up and decided that this man has done hard time.

"Yeah, Agent Fitzgerald even had his name down on the authorized list," the escorting agent replied. "So do you have him or should I hang around until Agent Fitzgerald gets back?"

"Yeah, I got him. Thanks," Danny replied as the agent walked away. He walked up to the menacing looking man and put on his best federal agent grin and said, "Hello, I'm special agent Danny Taylor. I understand you are here to see Martin Fitzgerald."

Eddie gave him an annoyed look and replied, "Yeah. Is he here yet?"

He shook his head and said, "No, he's in a meeting. Maybe I can..."

"I'll just wait for Martin thanks." Eddie sat down on one of the chairs and leaned back as he stared at the elevator doors.

Danny licked his lips and gestured to the family room down the hall. "Perhaps you'll be more comfortable waiting…"

"I'm fine, thanks," Eddie curtly replied.

He stuck his hands in his pants pockets and tried another tactic. "Can I ask how you know Agent Fitzgerald?"

Eddie cocked one eyebrow and eyed him like he was a nuisance, "College."

Danny could see he was getting no where with Eddie when the elevator doors slid open and Jack and Sam walked out. They looked at Eddie and then at Danny questioningly. "Jack, Sam, this is Edward Molina. He's a friend of Martin's."

Sam smiled and nodded while Jack extended his hand and greeted, "I'm Special Agent in Charge Jack Malone, nice to meet you. This is special agent Spade."

Eddie stood up and shook hands with the agents. "Hello."

Danny could see as Jack quickly appraised Eddie before turning to him and asking, "Where's Martin?"

Danny scratched his neck and said, "He had a meeting with Lisa this morning."

"Right," Jack replied with a nod. He looked at Eddie and in a friendly tone asked, "Mr. Molina, since Martin's going to be awhile, perhaps we can help you."

Eddie shook his head. "Thanks but I'd rather wait for Martin."

"Okay, well, have a seat and let us know if you need anything. Martin shouldn't be much longer." Jack turned and said, "Danny, can I see you in my office?"

"Sure." Danny got into step with Jack and Sam as they walked to Jack's office trying to look casual.

"Does this guy check out?" Jack asked as soon as they reached his office.

"I haven't had a chance to check him out yet but according to the escorting agent Martin had put his name down on the admit list." Danny glanced out Jack's window to see Eddie still sitting with a hard look on his face. He looked over at Sam and asked, "Did Martin ever mention him to you?"

"No," Sam replied as she stood alongside Danny to get a better look at Eddie.

"Just to be safe, Sam, run down to Lisa's office and try to catch him on his way up." Jack ordered as he logged onto his computer to start checking on Eddie.

"Too late, he just got off the elevator," Danny replied as he watched Eddie jump out of his seat and head straight for Martin.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

XXXXXXX

Martin stepped off the elevator and the first person he saw was someone he hadn't seen in years: the scariest looking man he'd ever met. Eddie stood up and walked straight towards him, lifting both hands up in the air before proceeding to grab him tightly around the chest causing all of the air leave his lungs.

"Can't breathe," Martin stammered out.

"Sorry." Eddie released his hold and stepped back. His hard features softened and he said, "Marty man! It's so great to see you."

"Hey, sorry I'm late." The two men shared a hand shake followed by a knocking of knuckles. "Did you have to wait long?"

"Not too long but it's a good thing you got here when you did." Eddie glanced behind him so he turned around to see Danny, Sam and Jack rushing straight towards the two of them with worried expressions. "Your buddies were suspicious that I was here to see you."

"Sorry." Martin turned around to his fellow team members and said. "Guys, this is my old friend Edward Molina."

"We've all met," Eddie said brusquely.

Martin watched the exchange between all of his friends and said, "I'm just going to use one of the conference rooms, okay." Jack nodded at him as he put his hand on Eddie's shoulder and led his old friend to a room down the hall. "How are Christina and the kids?"

Eddie tilted his head back and forth and said, "Christina's good. She just got a deal to publish her poetry."

"That's great."

"Yeah, but Pablo and Sheri got a divorce," Eddie added with a crestfallen expression.

"Sorry to hear that," Martin replied. He knew that Eddie wanted his son to have a better life than he did and was really hoping that he would find a way to make it work. "How are Diego and Lucia taking it?"

"About as well as can be expected; Pablo is trying to make sure that they know it isn't their fault."

They stopped at the door to the conference room and as Martin turned the doorknob he said, "That's good."

Eddie just nodded at him as he entered the room and took a seat. Martin sat down opposite of him and asked, "So, I'm guessing you didn't just come by to catch up."

"Do you remember my niece, Kiki? You met her at my wedding," Eddie asked as he leaned forward on the table, his hands clasped.

There was no way Martin could forget Kiki; she was gorgeous and he acted like a babbling idiot whenever she was near. She had beautiful mocha skin, big brown eyes, and long black hair. "Yeah, I remember her."

"A few years ago she hooked up with this really bad dude. Turns out he was a dealer and he got her hooked on meth. She was never the same and we all tried to get her away from this guy but it never worked. She would disappear from the family for a few days or so but we'd always manage to find her. But this time she's been missing for a few weeks now and we really need to find her fast." Eddie looked down for a moment before looking up at Martin. "Her mama, my sister, has cancer and the doctors say she is near the end."

"I'm so sorry, man," Martin said sympathetically.

Eddie just nodded his head and said, "She keeps asking for Kiki. I need your help finding her."

In his most compassionate tone he replied, "I'll do everything I can but you know it won't be easy. If she is purposely trying not to be found..."

"I know, but the entire family just wants to make sure we did everything we could." Eddie was wringing his hands. "I just can't let my sister die without knowing that."

Martin nodded and said, "Okay, do you have her last known address?"

Eddie pulled out a sheet of paper and handed it to him. "Here's a list of the last few addresses she's lived at plus the names of the people she has been hanging out with and their addresses. I put my cell phone number at the bottom so you can reach me whenever."

He couldn't help but smile at how meticulous Eddie was at the details. "Thanks. I'll see if I can get the team to help out, too."

"I better get back. I told my niece and nephew that I'd help take care of Peggy tonight." Eddie stood up as the two men walked back to the elevator.

Martin pretended not to notice that Danny and Sam were following them with their eyes but it did not go unnoticed by Eddie. As the elevator doors closed, his friend softly said, "I'm telling you man: once a convict always a convict."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

XXXXXXX

"According to this Edward Molina has a helluva rap sheet. Assault and battery, drug possession, breaking and entering, the list goes on and on. He was last arrested in 1984 and served a five year sentence at the Massachusetts Correctional Institution – Cedar Junction. That's the maximum security prison." Danny swung around in his chair to face Samantha and Jack. "Martin told me that when he was in college he did an internship at a state prison. That could be how he knows him."

"Is there anything else?" Sam asked.

Danny turned back to look at the screen and he scrolled down. "Um….whoa….it says here that he got his business degree from Harvard and masters from M.I.T. He works as an accountant for a non-profit organization in Boston."

"Really?" Sam stood up and walked up to Danny's desk. She was studying the computer screen when she saw Martin and Eddie walking down the hall to the elevator. Martin didn't look at them once but she caught Eddie throwing them a dirty look before turning away. "So, technically he does know Martin from college."

"Looks that way but that's one scary looking dude. I just wonder how those two men became friends," Danny commented with his eyes on Eddie.

"Yeah," Sam wondered that as well.

Danny, Sam and Jack remained seated at the conference table waiting for Martin to come back. She was getting anxious to ask Martin about his friend. She smiled to herself thinking that no matter how well she thought she knew him he was still full of surprises.

"So, did you guys already do your background search?" Martin asked as he strolled back into the bullpen.

"Look, man, he doesn't look like someone you would know. You can't blame us for being concerned," Jack said authoritatively. "Can you tell us how you know him?"

Martin put his hands on the back of one of the chairs and began, "I met him when I was doing an internship at MCI teaching accounting. Eddie's mind is incredible when it comes to numbers; amazing. I gave him some private tutoring but he was so advanced that I told my calculus professor, Rob Kent, about him and he went to visit Eddie. He was so impressed with his ability that he worked out an outreach partnership. When Eddie got out he was accepted to Harvard on a scholarship and got his business degree. Then he was accepted to MIT," Martin explained proudly. "Once he found some people who really believed in him he started to clean up his act. It wasn't easy but Rob convinced him to do therapy and go through a 12-step program as part of his scholarship contract."

"So he's like the Latino version of _Good Will Hunting,_" Danny joked.

Martin smiled and replied, "Yeah, only this one is an ex-con who was about twenty-five years older,"

"So was this just a social call?" Danny asked as he tapped his hand on the table.

"No, he needs my help finding his niece, Kiki." Martin turned and looked at Jack. "I'd like to make this a new case but if you don't want to use the bureau I'll do it on my own time."

"Why don't you explain the details to me first?" Jack replied in his gruff but concerned tone.

Martin pulled out his chair, sat down and told them everything that Eddie had told him about Kiki.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

XXXXXXX

Viv was glad she was able to see this issue of _US_ magazine; that Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt seemed really in love and she hoped they could make their marriage work. Annoyed by the outdated periodical, Viv tossed it back on the coffee table and sat back in her chair. She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to calm her worried nerves about what Dr. Marsh would have to say about her latest check-up.

She heard someone walk into the room and sit down next to her. She didn't even have to open her eyes to know it was Marcus. He gave her a kiss on the forehead and said, "Sorry, I'm late. I got stopped by two grad students on my way out."

Viv opened her eyes and gave him a sad smile as she reached out to grab his hand. "As long as you made it."

They sat there looking at each other with sad and worried expressions when the nurse behind the glass enclosed cubicle announced. "Mrs. Johnson, Dr. Marsh will see you now."

It took her body a few seconds to get the will to get up but she finally did. She and Marcus stood up and walked to the door for Dr. Marsh's private office.

Dr. Marsh was seated at his desk and stood up when he saw them enter. "Good to see you Marcus. How are you, Vivian?"

"You tell me," Vivian replied as she moved to a chair to sit down. Marcus followed her lead and sat down in the chair immediately next to her.

Dr. Marsh nodded solemnly as he sat down. Immediately Viv knew that the news was not going to be brief or good. "We are showing a resurgence of your Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy. The heart muscles are weakening again."

"So the procedure didn't work," Viv said without emotion.

"What we were hoping the procedure would do is not working, yes." Dr. Marsh looked at her with a remorseful expression and softly said, "I think it's time to put you down for a heart transplant."

Viv suddenly felt her throat go dry and no words would form. Thankfully, she had Marcus there with her. He reached out for her hand and squeezed it tightly as he asked, "A transplant? Are there any other options?"

Dr.Marsh shook his head. "Vivian's best option was the myectomy, which we've already performed."

"So in other words, we are out of options," Marcus asked. Viv heard his voice crack but she found that she couldn't bring herself to look at him.

"I'm afraid so." Dr. Marsh's responses were very clinical and detached. "The sooner we get her on the list the better."

"I understand the list is pretty long," Vivian asked when she finally found her voice. "What do we do in the meantime? How much time do I have to wait?"

"I'm not sure. We are going to have to run more tests to check the speed of the deterioration. The procedure did help to slow it down so that is one positive thing. For now, I suggest you continue on your meds and take it as easy as possible. Considering your line of work I think you will have to stick with office duty for awhile." Dr. Marsh pulled out some brochures and slid them over. "We'll make an appointment for you to meet with some transplant specialists and they will review how it all works with you."

She just nodded her head so Marcus answered for her. "Let's do it."

Viv found she couldn't speak as Marcus and Dr. Marsh discussed what sort of guidelines to follow until a heart becomes available. She was afraid she would start crying and never stop.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

XXXXXXX

Danny and Martin began climbing the stairs to Kiki's last known apartment building. Actually it would be more adequately described as more of a slum than an apartment building. The wallpaper was dingy gray and peeling off, the floors creaked with every step, and the sounds of arguing couples and crying babies echoed throughout the stairwell. To top it off, it smelled like mildew, urine and sweaty armpits.

Danny groaned as they started up the fifth flight of stairs. "Is there a rule that meth addicts always have to live on the top floors?"

"What? I thought you knew all about those pesky vampires and their first floor apartments," Martin commented with a smile on his face.

Danny laughed and replied, "I told you about that didn't I?"

"Yeah, about two and a half years ago."

Danny smiled and turned his focus back to the stairs as he added, "If you had told me three years ago that I actually consider you one of my best friends I'd have said that you were nuts."

Martin laughed lightly. "Funny, I was thinking the same thing."

"We've been through a lot together, Marty," Danny said softly.

"Yeah, we have."

Martin wondered when he would finally have that inevitable talk with Danny about the night of the shooting. Would Danny even want to talk about it? He knew that the best link to his missing memory was stored in his friend's head; he just needed to find a good time to bring it up. Before he had a chance to contemplate it any further, they reached the apartment.

He knocked on the door while Danny looked up and down the hallway. The door opened a crack and a rail thin girl who had bleached blonde hair with black roots peered out from behind the half open door. Her eyes were bloodshot and she looked wired.

"Hello, are you Polly Sagal?" Martin asked, as he attempted to look over her shoulder into the apartment.

"Yeah…" Polly responded with suspicion as she pulled the door closer to her in an attempt to block his view.

"We're special agents Martin Fitzgerald and Danny Taylor." He held up his badge for her to see. "We'd like to talk to you about your roommate, Kiki Melendez."

"What about her?" Polly asked as she started to bite her nails.

"Can we come in?" Martin asked. He did not want to do the interview in the hall and he also wanted to look around Kiki's apartment to get a sense of how she was living. It might provide possible clues as to her whereabouts.

"Um, sure I guess." Polly pushed the door open with the palm of her hand and walked in ahead of them.

It was a small studio apartment with two twin beds against opposite walls, a small kitchenette, and one door that Martin assumed led to the bathroom. It was filthy, there were clothes strewn about, discarded take-out cartons piled up on the tables and counter and it smelled of stale cigarettes and alcohol.

Polly shoved a pile of clothes off one of the beds and sat down. She made no attempt to offer Danny and Martin a place to sit and for once, he was grateful for inhospitality. He wanted to touch as little of the apartment as possible.

"When was the last time you saw Kiki?" he asked as he pulled out his notebook.

"I don't know…awhile," Polly answered as she moved her focus from her fingernails to her split ends.

Danny cleared his throat and asked, "Can you be more specific? Was it a few days, a week, a month?"

She shrugged and said, "I guess over a week, maybe two."

"Can you tell us about the last time you saw her?" Danny narrowed his gaze directly at Polly.

She shrugged again. "I remember she was in a grumpy ass mood."

XXX

_Polly stumbled in drunk and stoned. The apartment actually looked a lot cleaner than it did now or at least the side where Kiki's stuff was anyway. She sat on her bed looking like she had been crying._

"_Hey, Kiki, I ran into Frankie over at the club. He wants to meet up at an after-hours place later tonight. You wanna go?" Polly began going through the piles of clothes on her bed, stopping occasionally to sniff an item to see if it was wearable. _

"_No," Kiki replied as she sat there studying a piece of paper that she held in her hand. _

"_C'mon it'll be great. And you know Frankie will totally hook us up." Polly removed the shirt she was wearing and pulled on a tight little halter top. "What else are you going to do? Don't tell me you think that Marcello is actually going to call you." _

_Kiki didn't respond but quickly glanced at Polly with a wounded look on her face. _

_Polly hopped onto her friends bed and said, "C'mon girl, come out with us. It'll be a lot of fun." She grabbed Kiki's arm and tried to pull her up._

"_I said no, Polly!" Kiki yanked her arm back. _

_Polly stood up and shoved her in the shoulder as she shouted, "What in the hell is your problem?" Kiki didn't say anything but returned her focus to the paper. "What the fuck are you looking at?" Polly grabbed the piece of paper from Kiki and read it aloud, "'Call me, Dee Dee.' Who in the fuck is Dee Dee?" _

_Kiki yanked the piece of paper back and said, "None of your damn business!" _

"_Screw you, Kiki. You've been a real drag. No wonder Marcello dumped your ass!" Polly grabbed a jacket from her bed and stomped out the door. _

XXX

"When I got back that night she was gone," Polly said irritably.

"And you didn't think to report it?" Martin asked, annoyed by Polly's unconcerned behavior.

"She's a grown woman. I ain't her babysitter," Polly replied.

Danny crossed his arms and asked, "Do you know why she and Marcello broke up?"

Polly laughed crudely and said, "'Broke up'? Please, he dumped her! I don't know why but she was in a pissy ass mood after that."

Martin scrawled the information into his notepad and asked, "Do you have any idea where she would've gone?"

Polly shook her head as she rocked back and forth.

"Did you ever find out who Dee Dee was?" Martin asked as he watched Polly's early stages of withdrawal.

Polly shook her head and said, "No."

He knew it was a long shot but he had to ask. "Do you remember the phone number by any chance?"

"Who do I look like, _Rain Man_?" Polly replied sarcastically.

"Thanks, you've been a lot of help," Danny replied equally sarcastic as the stood up and exited the apartment.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

XXXXXXX

Jack sat at his desk reviewing the file on Marcello Silva. Marcello had been arrested several times for drug possession and intent to distribute. He had two strikes against him and with the three strikes law all he needed was one more arrest to serve a life sentence.

He glanced at the picture of Kiki Melendez and saw a vivacious young woman full of promise who fell into a trap with the wrong man. He wondered what was going in her life that she would get involved with someone like Marcello. What went wrong? It was cases like these that always got to him because they reminded him of his own daughters. Would he be the thing that went wrong in their life?

He sighed and wondered if he could ever get back on track with Hanna.

XXX

_After Thanksgiving dinner at Vivian's, as soon as they got in the car Kate fell asleep in the backseat while Hanna sat on the passenger side. She clicked the radio to a top 40 station and turned the volume up high. She stared out the window and swung her leg back and forth so it hit the underside of the dashboard. _

_Jack reached over and lowered the volume and asked, "Can you please stop that?" _

_Hanna turned and glared at him but she did stop. And then she proceeded to drum her fingers on the door's arm rest. _

_He swallowed and stole a glance at his oldest daughter. "Hanna, I know you are angry at me but I am still your father and we have to find a way to make peace." She continued to stare out at the city still not speaking. "I want you to understand what happened between me and your mom had nothing to do with you or Kate. We both love you." _

_Hanna remained silent but Jack knew she was listening because her fingers had stopped strumming and her body stiffened. _

"_I am sorry that I am not a perfect father; far from it. But I am trying." Hanna nodded slightly, her head barely moving as she continued to stare out at the buildings passing by. Jack could see her biting her bottom lip. He knew she wanted to ask a question but was afraid so he gently urged her, "If you have a question you can ask." _

_He looked over and saw Hanna fidget in her seat before softly asking, "Did you love her?" _

_While Jack was tempted to pretend he misunderstood the question; that she was asking about Maria he knew exactly about whom Hanna was asking. "I cared about her a lot."_

_She ran her fingers along the rim where the window met the door frame and asked, "Why aren't you still with her?"_

_Jack cleared his throat and adjusted his hands on the steering wheel. He paused for a moment considering how to answer question that was complicated for an adult much less for his pre-teen daughter. "I loved your mother and I realized that I needed to try and make it work for yours and Kate's sake. So I ended it."_

_Hanna turned to look at Jack, studying him carefully. "But it didn't work."_

"_No, no it didn't."_

"_Are you going to get back with her?"_

_He blew out a breath and replied, "No, it's in the past. We've both moved on."_

"_But you work with her." _

_Jack realized that Hanna continually referred to Sam as 'her' rather than by her name. He understood it made it easier for his daughter to talk about. She knew Sam, met her on several occasions and had liked her a lot. She probably felt betrayed by the both of them. _

"_I do work with her but that's it. We're colleagues." He hoped he sounded convincing because he knew that it wasn't as simple as that. _

_Hanna looked at him like she didn't believe his answer but she still nodded her head before reaching over and turning the volume on the radio back up signaling the end of the conversation. While Jack knew the topic was far from over he was pleased that at least they had started talking. _

XXX

He started to wonder what the Christmas break was going to be like. The girls were going to come see him a few days after the holiday and while he had talked to them on the phone he knew that long-distance offered a safe buffer zone.

There was a knock on his door and he saw Vivian hovering in his doorway. He waved her inside. "Hi. What's up?"

Viv walked slowly to his desk and sat down. She took a deep breath and spoke softly, "I saw Dr. Marsh this morning. He said the Myectomy didn't work. He thinks it's time to consider a heart transplant."

Jack felt his hands go numb and his breath catch. "Um, I don't know what to say."

Viv just continued on, "Dr. Marsh said I can't do field work anymore so that means only desk duty. I know you need agents who can…"

Jack waved his hand for her to stop. "No, that desk is yours. We'll figure something out." He paused and asked, "Are there any other options?"

"No," Viv replied solemnly.

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"No, but I appreciate the offer." She gave Jack a sad smile.

"Do you want me to tell the rest of the team?"

Viv thought for a moment before responding, "No. I should tell them. If it's okay with you, I'll take the rest of the day off and I'll tell them in the morning."

"Okay." Jack looked over Viv carefully and for the first time saw her as being fragile. "If you need anything, you let me know okay?"

"Thanks Jack. I'll let you get back to work. I promised Reggie I'd pick him up from school today." Viv stood up and walked out the door with Jack's eyes following her.

After she left he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his hands over his face never feeling more helpless in his life.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

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The car pulled up in front of Peggy Melendez's two-story colonial house and the tire bumped against the curb, making a loud thumping sound. Inside the car, Sam sat behind the steering wheel, turned to Martin and said, "Not a word."

He just smiled at her and she could see his lips just itching to laugh but he remained silent. She narrowed her eyes at him, almost daring him to criticize her driving, when he grinned widely and opened the door to get out of the car. She couldn't see his face but she was almost positive she heard him chuckling before the door closed.

As they walked up the sidewalk Eddie must have spotted them drive up because he opened the door and met them on the porch. "Martin, have you found her?"

Martin shook his head and said, "No, not yet. Sorry. I was wondering if you could give us a little more info."

"Yeah, come inside." He motioned for them to enter the house.

Sam looked around and saw walls filled with family photos. It was like a picture of every member of the family or every significant moment was framed and put on display. She also noticed lots of religious items: a cross above the door, Saints with rosaries dangling around their necks and a large framed painting of the last supper above the dining room table.

"Please sit down. Do you want anything to drink?" Eddie asked.

"I'm fine," Martin said as he sat down on the sofa.

"I'm okay, thank you," Sam replied, taking a seat next to Martin.

Martin pulled out his notebook and asked, "Do you know someone by the name of Dee Dee?"

Eddie nodded his head. "That was her best friend in high school. I haven't seen her in years. They drifted apart when Dee Dee went away to school in Colorado."

The front door swung open and a young teenage girl of about sixteen entered. She looked like a younger version of Kiki only with a more studious manner and a serious face.

Eddie stood up and made the introductions. "Marisa, this is Martin Fitzgerald, my friend that I told you about. You might remember him from my wedding." Marisa smiled as Martin stood up to shake her hand. "Martin, you remember my other niece, Marisa."

"Nice to see you again, Marisa," Martin greeted with a smile.

Eddie turned to Sam and said, "This is Samantha Spade, his partner."

"Hello Marisa." Sam noticed that Marisa looked really nervous and a bit scared. She glanced at Martin who looked back at her noticing it as well.

"Nice meeting you." She turned to Eddie and said, "I'll go check on mami." Marisa headed down the hall to the back of the house.

Eddie looked at them and said, "She's taking all of this really hard. I mean her mom is dying and now with Kiki's problems…it's just been very difficult."

Martin nodded sympathetically and both he and Eddie moved to sit back down. Sam knew that there was something that Marisa was hiding so she remained standing and asked, "Eddie, may I use your bathroom?"

"Yes, of course, down the hall, second door on your right."

"Thank you, I'll be right back."

Sam walked slowly down the hall, past the stairs and peeked into each room as she passed. In the last room at the rear of the house she saw a frail woman lying asleep in a bed in the center of the room. On the dresser sat more Saints, lit candles, and photos. She studied the woman for a moment when she heard a young girl weeping just outside the back door. She opened the door and looked out to find Marisa sitting on bench on the porch crying.

Sam walked out and softly asked, "Marisa, are you alright?"

Marisa tried to nod that she was fine but instead she started crying violently. Sam sat down next to her and carefully put her arm around her shoulder. When Marisa finally calmed down a bit she looked at Sam and said, "It's my fault that Kiki's missing."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked concerned.

"She came by here over a week ago," Marisa replied as she wiped the tears away. "I was so mad at her for bringing so much stress into our lives."

XXX

_It was late at night and Marisa was asleep in bed. She heard something hitting the glass window panes and she got out of bed to investigate. She saw Kiki standing in the backyard tossing small pebbles at her window. Marisa opened the window and roughly asked, "What do you want?" _

_Kiki looked up and said, "Let me in. I can't find the spare key." _

"_That's because you don't live here," Marisa argued. _

"_Cut it out Mari. Let me in, I need somewhere to stay."_

"_No."_

"_What do you mean no? It's my house too!"_

"_No. All you do is upset Mami and cause trouble. You're the reason she is so sick." Kiki looked back at her stunned. "She was in remission until you started running around with Marcello and doing drugs." Marisa felt power in taking her anger and frustrations out on someone. "The only time you come around anymore is for money or if you need some place to stay because you got evicted again. I'm sick of it. Go away and leave us alone!" _

_With a trembling voice Kiki said, "Marisa, I don't have anyplace to go." _

"_I don't care." Marisa slammed her window closed, turned out the light and sat down on her bed. She sat there for about a minute before she felt guilty and rushed down the stairs to let Kiki in. But when she opened the door her sister was gone. She scanned the yard and looked up and down the street but Kiki was nowhere in sight. _

XXX

"It's my fault. Please, you have to find her so she can see mami before…" Marisa cried.

Sam just nodded her head and said nothing as she continued to try and comfort the young girl. She didn't want to make a promise she couldn't guarantee she could keep.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

XXXXXXX

"I found Marcello Silva," Danny announced as he strode into the bullpen.

Martin and Sam were sitting at their desks trying to track down Dee Dee Warner, Kiki's friend from high school. Sam was still on the phone but Martin stood up and walked towards Danny. "Where is he? I need to talk to him."

"That's going to be tough. He's at the morgue. Apparently, he was shot in a drug deal gone bad." Danny pulled out the police report and read from the file. "He was making a deal with two undercover cops. When he found out who they were he panicked, knowing that this was his third strike and he was going away for life. He pulled out a gun so the officers shot him. It happened late yesterday."

"Damn," Martin muttered as he took the report and looked it over. "It seems everywhere we look there's another dead end."

"Did you find out anything about Dee Dee?" Danny asked as he glanced over at Sam.

"Yeah, her last name is Warner and she works at Family Planning. She's been on vacation but no one at her office can remember where she went or where she's staying." Martin looked over at Sam who was still on the phone.

Danny folded his arms and asked, "Any activity on her credit card?"

He shook his head. "She doesn't have one. Wherever she is, she's paying cash or someone else is picking up the tab."

Sam hung up the phone and walked over. "I found Dee Dee. She's camping."

"In this weather?" Martin asked. "It's freezing out."

"Apparently she's a snow camper. She went up with a few friends and they aren't due back for another week." Sam frowned and continued, "The good news is she is with a tour group and I found out where they are going to be tomorrow afternoon. I figure we can drive up and meet up with her for a quick interview."

He nodded his head. "Okay, then the morning it is."

A few hours later, Martin was still at his desk calling up the remaining phone numbers on the list of friends that Eddie gave him. He was in the middle of leaving yet another message when out of the corner of his eye he spotted Sam walking up to his desk.

She stood there as he finished up. When he hung up she looked him over and said, "You should go home and get some rest."

"I'm almost through the phone list. I'll go home when I'm done." Martin gave her a small smile and moved to pick up the phone.

Sam studied him for a moment and quietly asked, "What's the deal with you and Eddie?'

"What do you mean? I told you, I tutored him…."

"Nah, there is something else going on. The way you are working this case is pretty intense even if he is an old friend."

Martin hesitated a moment. He wasn't sure he wanted to tell Sam about the incident but he knew he could trust her so he took a deep breath and said, "I owe him. Eddie saved my life."

She sat on the edge of his desk and asked, "What do you mean?"

Martin leaned back and began, "It was when I was doing the internship."

XXX

_A twenty-year old Martin with floppy hair, wearing a corduroy blazer, tie and jeans stood at the front of a classroom with about eight students writing in their workbooks. Even though he was in a room full of convicts he didn't feel unsafe. The men who took an accounting class were usually pretty serious about learning. _

_Eddie sat in the corner and Martin walked up to him, grabbing a chair so he could sit alongside him. "Hey, Eddie, here's a calculus book. I told my professor about you. He asked if you could do the problems on the following pages to see what level you are at so he could figure out where to place you."_

"_Marty, man, I don't know. Books and stuff aren't really my deal," he coolly replied although Martin couldn't help but notice that his eyes were completely focused on the book. _

"_Yes it is. You have one of the sharpest minds I've ever seen. I'd hate to see you waste it." Martin looked at him and put the book down on the desk. "Just try it."_

_He stood up and headed back to the front of the class and pulled out the workbook the students were working on. "Okay, guys, let's look at what we've done so far."_

_Suddenly there was some yelling and shouting down the hall and the entire class started to move towards the door when Martin shouted, "Stay in your seats!" He rushed to the door to see what the commotion was all about when the door swung open and hit him in the face, knocking him to the wall. Before he could get his senses together he felt someone pull him in a stronghold and put a knife at his throat. He was slowly dragged into the classroom with one arm wrapped around his chest when the assailant kicked the door shut. _

_The prisoners in the classroom started shouting, "Tony, let him go man!" "What are you doing!"_

"_Shut the fuck up!" Tony shouted. _

_Martin finally found his focus and started trying to think of a way to maneuver out of Tony's grasp. But all the moves he could recall would not work with the knife pressed into his neck without risking getting his throat slashed. _

_The door burst open again and there were four guards pointing their guns at Tony but to Martin it was like they were aiming for him too. _

"_Drop the knife Tony! There's no way out. End it now!" The guards shouted._

"_No way!" Tony pressed the knife into Martin's throat, nicking the flesh as a small trail of blood trickled down his neck. "Get out!" _

"_You know we can't do that. Let him go, Tony," one of the guards demanded with his gun trained on Tony._

_Then out of the corner of his eye he saw Eddie calmly walk up to where Tony held him against the chalk board. _

"_Let Martin go Tony or you will have to answer to me." Eddie's voice sounded menacing and his eyes were filled with murderous intent. _

"_Fuck you," Tony replied._

"_I'm only going to tell you one more time: let him go." Eddie's voice was lower and Martin could see him clench his fists. _

_The guards shouted for Eddie to back off when he felt the knife's blades pressure lessen and apparently Eddie noticed it too because before Martin knew how it happened Eddie rushed them. He shoved him to the floor while managing to grab Tony's arm that held the knife, twisting it behind him and slamming him up against the chalk board. _

_The guards rushed the two men, pulled Eddie off and handcuffed Tony. Martin stood there breathing heavily and the adrenaline pumping. He put his hand to his neck to stop the bleeding on his neck. One of the guards came to check on Martin who insisted that he was fine as one of the other guards cuffed Eddie and began escorting him out. _

"_What are you doing? He saved my life," Martin demanded as he rushed to Eddie's defense._

"_It's standard operating procedure. We just have to confine him until Tony's processed." The guard smiled reassuringly at Martin and Eddie. "We know he helped but we still have to do our job." _

"_Don't worry about it Marty," Eddie said knowingly. "Just make sure they get my books back to my cell okay?" _

_Martin didn't like how this was going but he knew it was out of his hands. "Okay." _

_He stood there and gave Eddie a thankful look as the man who saved his life was escorted out. _

XXX

"And he never asked for anything in return. In fact he never mentioned it again and when I tried to thank him he kept shrugging me off. I know he risked a lot by helping me. If a con goes against another one where guards are involved there is retribution. He never mentioned anything to me but I heard about some incidents from the other prisoners." Martin rubbed his fingers on his desk. "So, I did everything I could to help him hook up with Professor Kent, got him into Harvard."

Sam eyed him carefully and said, "This scholarship Eddie received; the one with the conditions, any personal connection?"

Martin smiled and replied, "It was worth every penny."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

XXXXXXX

Martin and Sam sat in the Forest Ranger cabin in Green Mountain National Forest waiting for Dee Dee's group to arrive for their check-in. He felt totally in his element: out in nature, the fresh smell of the woods and bundled up in his Gortex jacket. He stole a glance at Sam, who unlike him looked miserable. He suppressed a chuckle at the sight of her.

"Would you like some coffee while you wait?" Alan, the Forest Ranger, asked. He had red hair, lots of freckles and a goatee.

"I'd love some," Martin replied.

"Me too," Sam said as she rubbed her hands together.

"I'll be right back." Alan disappeared behind the counter when the door swung open and a group of about seven campers entered.

The team leader was a man of about forty-years old with wild brown hair. "Alright guys, we are only here for a few hours before we continue back out. Take advantage of the facilities."

Martin and Sam stood up and spotted Dee Dee standing near the rear talking to another camper. She was tall with her hair pulled back in a French braid.

"Dee Dee Warner?" Martin asked as he approached.

Dee Dee swung around and looked at Martin worriedly. "That's me."

He pulled out his badge and said, "I'm agent Fitzgerald and this is agent Spade. We'd like to ask you a few questions about Kiki Melendez."

It was at this moment that Martin realized that the two girl's names rhymed.

Dee Dee stepped closer and asked, "Did something happen to Kiki?"

"She's been missing for over a week," Sam answered in an empathetic tone. "Her mom is dying and we need to find her fast. Do you have any idea where she could be?"

An anguished look appeared on the young woman's face. "Her mom's dying? Oh, my god. She didn't tell me."

"So you have talked to her recently?" Martin asked.

"Yeah, but it wasn't exactly a fun filled reunion."

XXX

_Dee Dee was wearing her nurse's scrubs when she entered the exam room and found Kiki sitting on the exam table wearing the ubiquitous paper robe that all doctors require their patients wear. _

"_Kiki?" Dee Dee asked as Kiki looked at her curiously. "It's me, Dee Dee."_

"_Dee Dee, hi." Kiki wrapped her paper robe tighter to her._

"_Hi, how are you?" She realized that was a ridiculous question considering where they were meeting. "How's your family?" _

_Kiki hesitated and then finally said, "They're fine."_

_She could see that her old childhood friend wasn't interested in catching up so she shifted back into work mode. "What seems to be the problem?" _

"_Um, I think I'm pregnant," Kiki replied in a tiny fearful voice._

_Dee Dee looked over Kiki and grew concerned; her skin was pale, almost translucent, she had some acne, and dry, itchy skin. If she was in fact pregnant it was going to be a complicated one at best. "What makes you think you're pregnant?" _

_Kiki lowered her eyes and said, "I haven't had my period in awhile."_

"_What was the first day of you last cycle?" Dee Dee asked as she put the wrap around Kiki's arm to check her blood pressure. _

"_I don't remember," Kiki replied with her eyes focused on the poster on the wall of a mother nursing her baby. _

_The monitor beeped and she recorded her vitals. They were way out of whack and she suspected that Kiki had hypertension. "Did they already have you use the bathroom to collect a sample?" _

_Kiki nodded her head. _

"_Good." Dee Dee moved and stared examining Kiki's teeth, sighing heavily at just the visual, cursory exam. A few seconds later the on staff doctor entered._

"_Hello, I'm Dr. Brannon," She introduced herself to Kiki and then proceeded to do a full examination. When she was done she excused herself telling Kiki she would be right back but she could get dressed in the meantime. Dee Dee excused herself as well and followed Dr. Brannon out._

_She walked alongside her and asked, "She isn't pregnant is she?" _

_Dr. Brannon shook her head doubtfully and replied, "I want to check the results of her urine test but I honestly don't think so. The missed period is most likely just a side effect of her addiction."_

"_I thought so," Dee Dee said softly. "She's an old friend. If she isn't pregnant can I be the one to tell her?" _

_Dr. Brannon hesitated but finally agreed. A short while later they got the results of the test and sure enough, Kiki wasn't pregnant but she did test positive for Methamphetamine. Dee Dee took a deep breath before knocking on the exam room door. Kiki replied that it was okay to enter so she went inside. She sat on the stool and rolled herself near her friend. _

"_We got the test results. You're not pregnant." Kiki got a despondent look on her face, her bottom lip quivering. She patted her friend's knee and began slowly, "Sweetie, I know you are sick, you're an addict. You tested positive for Meth. That's why you've missed your periods, your teeth's enamel is wearing off, and your hair is dry and brittle."_

_Kiki got tears in her eyes but with a fierce voice said, "I'm fine."_

_Dee Dee leaned in closer and said, "You need help. If you don't want your family to get involved I know of some facilities that can help you."_

"_I said I'm fine," Kiki stood up and grabbed her coat and purse. "It's just as well I'm not pregnant. I'm not ready to be someone's mom." _

"_Kiki, wait." She knew that Kiki was clearly not ready to confront her addiction so she grabbed a piece of notepad paper and scribbled on it. "Here's my phone number. Call me anytime. I want to help you." _

_Kiki looked at the paper before finally reaching out, taking it and stuffing it into her pants pocket. She nodded and moved to the door replying, "Later."_

XXX

"And then she left. I tried calling the number she left on her chart but it was disconnected. I was planning on going to see her family when I got back from this trip." Dee Dee looked down at the floor and a little later added, "I gave her my phone number but then left town. How clever was that?"

"Do you have any idea where she would go?" Sam asked.

"No. Like I said, I hadn't seen her in years." Dee Dee paused a moment and then added, "You know when were in high school we co-taught catechism at St. Michaels. We'd spend a lot of time hanging out there. That's the only place I can think of other than going home."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

XXXXXXX

Martin gripped the steering wheel and carefully passed a semi truck on the highway. The forests of New York State reminded him a lot of Seattle. That was one of things he liked about living there. On any given weekend he could pack up his gear and find a place to climb. While his dad was never much of an outdoorsman beyond sailing and golf, Martin loved going to visit his aunt Bonnie and uncle Roger during the summers because they were campers. Roger taught him how to fish, rock climb, and he even helped him earn some of his Boy Scout badges. His sisters usually spent their summers at cheerleading or all-girl camps so until Bonnie's daughter, Jamie, came along he was also able to enjoy the pleasures of being an only child, if only for awhile.

He looked over at Sam who was drinking her hot coffee like it was liquid ecstasy. He wondered how she spent her summers. Guessing from her stories of being raised by a single mother he assumed that summer camp was probably not in the cards. He thought that maybe it was part of her hesitation about having kids. He couldn't help but think it was a shame because he would love to have a daughter who looked like her.

XXX

"_So you broke it off, again?" Lisa asked without sounding judgmental which he completely appreciated because after being called an idiot by every woman he knew for the last few weeks he really didn't want to hear it again. _

"_Yeah, I honestly thought it would be better to cut it off sooner rather than later if we both wanted two different things," Martin rationalized._

"_I see. And this was about two months ago?" Lisa asked and Martin nodded. "And what have you been doing to find this life that you say you want?"_

_Martin hesitated and asked, "What do you mean?"_

"_Well, you say that you want to find a woman who shares the same goals as you: marriage, kids, dog. What are you doing to find this woman?" Lisa's tone was friendly and casual._

"_Well, nothing yet, I mean, it's only been two months since we broke up." Truth-be-told, while Martin said that he was looking for this mythical woman he really hadn't done anything to move on. If he were to be honest with himself, he was still holding out hope for Sam. "I guess I hadn't thought that far ahead yet."_

"_But you were thinking that far ahead when you ended it with Samantha. Why do you think that is?" Lisa asked. Her face was unreadable. _

"_I don't understand where you are going with this," Martin replied frustrated._

"_Martin, you just went through a pretty traumatic event recently and I don't think you've really dealt with it," Lisa said as Martin sat up straighter and uncrossed his legs. "Based on this conversation alone all you've talked about is Samantha. I can't help but wonder if she is a distraction. I'm not saying she isn't important but you are making these life changing decisions based on the life you want to have but not the one you are living."_

"_What can I say about my being in a coma? I don't remember anything." Martin hated that his voice sounded defensive and a little fearful. "I remember being in the car and waking up. That's it. I'd rather not dwell on something I can't control."_

"_Exactly," Lisa said with a serious tone. "Martin, you woke up from an incident that you felt was beyond your control so you seemed to have filed it away and choose to ignore it. And to substitute that loss you tried to control everything else in your life and when you felt that something was not in your control you ended it so you could get that sense of power back."_

"_So you're saying I am trying to control Sam?" Martin asked frustrated._

"_No, not exactly, I just want you to know that you are never going to be able to control everything in your life. That is impossible." Lisa leaned forward and looked Martin in the eyes. "But I think that if you deal with the your being shot, the coma and the loss of your memory you might be able to regain some of that control you feel you've lost. And I believe that would really help your personal relationships as well."_

XXX

"Earth to Martin," Sam said as Martin turned to her inquisitively. She smile at him and said, "You okay? You were daydreaming or something."

"I'm fine" Martin replied as he turned his focus on the road and put a very serious expression on his face.

"Okay," she replied with a laugh before quickly adding, "but just so you know, you missed our exit."

Martin looked over and sure enough he had just driven past the off ramp. He muttered an obscenity and hit his blinker to get off on the next exit. He did everything he could to avoid looking at Sam who he was certain had a smirk on her face.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

XXXXXXX

St. Michaels Church was a Gothic style stone structure surrounded by heavy metal gates; a veritable fortress of faith and worship. Martin and Sam walked up the front steps of the church and entered the foyer where the outer wall was lined with beautiful stained glass windows. Sam spotted the sign on a door that read 'Church Office' and she and Martin walked towards it; her high heels echoing in the grand hall.

They entered the office and the receptionist, who was about thirty-years old with short brown hair and a floral dress greeted them. "Hello, I'm Nancy. How can I help you?"

"We're here to see Father Rael," Martin said while Sam looked around.

"Of course, let me just go get the Father. Please have a seat and I'll be right back." Nancy walked to an inner office behind the counter.

They sat down on the on the wooden chairs to wait. Martin stifled a yawn; they had been on the go since the dark side of dawn and it was catching up to them.

Sam closed her eyes and rubbed the back of her neck, tilting her head back and forth. "That car ride is killer."

Martin didn't say anything but just watched her, resisting the urge to reach over and massage her neck. It was extremely difficult when she sat so close, looking as sensuous as she did when they would lie together in bed. His hand wanted to reach for her so desperately that he had to sit on it just to be safe.

"Hello, I'm Father Rael." A tall man with curly silver hair and wire-rimmed glasses walked out from behind the counter towards where they sat. "You must be Max and Sue. Let me just say, you make a lovely couple. Are you getting excited about your upcoming nuptials?"

Martin smiled and looked over at Sam who wasted no time in correcting the misunderstanding, "I'm sorry, there seems to be some confusion. We're agents Spade and Fitzgerald from the F.B.I."

Father Rael looked back and forth between them and apologized, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were a couple here for pre-marriage counseling."

Martin gave him a gentle smile, shook his head and said, "We were wondering if you have seen Kiki Melendez recently."

"Ah, yes, I know she's missing. I was over at her mother's house this morning for Last Rites," Father Rael replied sadly.

"We were wondering if she came to see you recently," Sam asked.

"No, I wish I did though," the priest said solemnly. "It seems she is deeply troubled right now. I heard about her addiction to Meth."

Sam opened her mouth to ask another question when from behind the counter Nancy interrupted, "What does she look like?"

"I have a picture," Martin replied as he pulled a photograph out of his coat pocket and handed it to her.

Nancy sighed heavily and looked up at them. "She was here last week."

XXX

_Nancy was at her desk typing up nest month's church bulletin when Kiki walked in looking pale and shaky. She stood up and walked to the counter. "Welcome to St. Michael's, how may I help you?"_

"_I need to see Father Rael. Is he here?" Kiki asked as she hugged her arms around herself, trying to steady herself. _

"_No, I'm sorry. He's visiting parishioners at a local nursing home. Can I help you with anything?" she asked tenderly. _

"_I don't know if anyone can help me anymore." Kiki said looking down at the floor. _

_Nancy ran her eyes over the disheveled woman and asked, "Honey, are you alright?" _

"_No, I'm not." Kiki shook her head and began to weep. "I'm a mess, a waste of a life. I'm just a sick addict with no one left in the world." _

"_I'm sure that isn't true," she replied, trying to comfort the distraught girl. She handed Kiki some tissue and gently said, "Tell you what; I'm going to try and reach Father on his cell phone. Why don't you sit down and I will get you a cup of tea and you can tell me what's wrong."_

_Kiki nodded her head and moved to sit down. _

"_I'll be right back," Nancy said as she headed to the kitchen to put a kettle on. _

XXX

"When I came back with the tea she was gone. I looked out the window and she was catching the bus." Nancy was wringing her hands. "I'm sorry Father. I was nervous and unsure on how I could help her."

"It's alright, Nancy. You did wonderfully," Father Rael assured.

"Which direction was the bus headed?" Martin asked.

"Northbound," Nancy replied.

XXXX

Martin and Sam walked across the street towards the bus stop to wait for the next bus to arrive so they could ask the driver if he recognized Kiki. As they were standing there Sam glanced at the bench. The billboard on it read 'At the End of Your Rope? Reach out to Tulane Crisis Clinic. We Can Help.' Underneath was printed their address and phone number.

She touched Martin's shoulder and he turned around to look at the bench. He met her eyes and then pulled out his cell phone. He was worried that might be too easy an answer but it was an avenue worth pursuing. "Hello, this is special agent Martin Fitzgerald. Do you have a patient there by the name of Katrina 'Kiki' Melendez?"


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

XXXXXXX

Martin and Sam stood looking in the observation window as Eddie was reunited with his niece. She didn't look quite like the young woman Martin remembered; more like the shell that a pretty girl used to live in. But the clinic was helping; her skin was clearing up and she looked clean and sober. Apparently after she left the church she saw took the sign on the bench as a real 'sign' and decided to go visit the clinic. She didn't have any money but since they were a non-profit group they were able to find a spot for her. It seemed she was as tired of the life she was living as much as her sister.

They had stopped to pick up Eddie on their way to the clinic because they thought that she might feel better being found by family. Plus, Sam thought that it might be better to have a family member tell her about her mother's ailing condition.

Eddie held his niece in a tight embrace as she cried. A short while later they walked out of the room with his arm around her. She wiped tears from her eyes and smiled when she saw Martin. She walked up and gave him a hug saying, "Thank you for finding me in time."

"I'm just glad we found you," Martin said as he released her from the hug and followed Eddie, Kiki, and Sam out the door.

XXXX

He and Sam hung back wanting to give the family some privacy while Kiki was reunited with her mother. It was clear that the end was near because almost every member of the family was crammed into the small house and there were several old women praying the rosary next to Peggy's frail body. Kiki and Marisa held each other as silent tears streamed down their cheeks.

Martin thought perhaps this moment was too personal to share so he looked at Sam who thankfully seemed to agree. She nodded her head and they walked to the door, trying to quietly slip out of the house. They made it all the way to the porch before Eddie stopped them.

"I can't thank you both enough," Eddie said as Martin shook his head.

"Hey, it's our job." Martin smiled sadly.

Sam reached out to shake Eddie's hand and said, "Take care. I hope everything works out with Kiki." Sam touched Martin on the elbow and said she was going to go wait in the car. He knew she wanted to give them some privacy.

"Martin, I owe you so much. First you saved my life and now you were able to give my sister some peace in her final hours by reuniting her with her daughter. I can't ever repay you."

He shook his head and replied, "No, you saved my life remember. I'm the one trying to repay it."

"What are talking about? That thing with Tony? Martin man, that was nothing compared to all you've done for me. All my life people just treated me like a convict but you believed in me. You got my life on track: you helped me get into Harvard and MIT. You introduced me to my wife. I could never repay you for everything you've done." Eddie put his hand on Martin's shoulder and said, "Shit man, you're my hero."

Martin was so touched that he couldn't even speak. He just smiled at Eddie and the two men exchanged a hug before stepping back and patting each other on the shoulders.

"You better get back inside," he said to Eddie who just nodded at him and walked back into the house.

When he got into the car Sam looked over at him and asked, "What did he say?"

Martin just looked out the windshield before turning to her with a big smile. "He said I'm his hero."

She grinned at him, turned on the ignition and said, "Let's hit the road, Superman."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

XXXXXXX

Sam was in a really good mood as she and Martin headed into the bullpen to fill out their case reports. The entire ride home he kept asking her why she called him Superman. She finally surrendered and confessed that his mom had told her the story about his obsession with the comic book hero when he was a little boy and about him climbing the tree in his Underoos. The look of mortification on his face was priceless.

"Hey Viv," Martin greeted as he headed to his desk. He nodded at Danny who sat at the conference table working on his report.

Viv stood up and walked to the conference table and said, "We heard you found her."

"Yeah, it's kind of a happy ending. She was in rehab but we got to her in time for her to see her mom before she died," Sam commented as she flipped through the files in her In-Box.

Everyone continued going about their business when Vivian cleared her throat and started, "Hey guys, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Sam stopped in her tracks and got very nervous. She glanced at Danny and Martin and at seeing their faces she knew that they suddenly had the same sense of dread. She walked slowly to the conference table and sat down. "What is it?"

"I met with Dr. Marsh and he said that the procedure I had last year isn't working like he had hoped," Viv said; her tone very calm, clinical and completely detached. "He has placed me on the list for a heart transplant."

"Um," Martin cleared his throat. "Are they sure? Because I still have the phone number of the Chief…."

"No, sweetie, thank you. We're sure." Viv gave Martin a gentle smile before continuing, "I've talked to Jack and told him that Dr. Marsh has me restricted to desk work. I know that puts a lot more work on you three…."

"Don't worry about it Viv," Danny interjected. "We'll do whatever it takes."

"Absolutely," Martin agreed.

"I appreciate that," Viv said in a soft voice. "But we all know that this definitely means I cannot continue to work in the field even after the surgery. So eventually I will have to leave the team."

"But not for awhile, right?" Sam asked.

Viv smiled gently at her and said, "Yeah, not for awhile."

Martin was biting his lip and Sam knew him well enough to know his mind was spinning but he couldn't handle the topic. She glanced at Danny who looked just as crestfallen. She wanted to break the silence but while her mind was overwhelmed with questions and concerns not a single word found a voice. Viv wasn't that much older than she was but she sometimes considered her the mom of the group and the thought that your mom might die is scary.

"Come on you guys. I'm here, I'm alive and as soon as heart becomes available I am sure I'll be fine." Viv's voice was filled with an upbeat tone. "So, please, let's just continue working like we always do okay. No pity."

The three of them just nodded in agreement but Sam knew that while Viv wanted to be treated like she always was their lives would never be the same again.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

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The weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas flew by in a blur. The entire team did their best to try and make Viv feel comfortable around them but she couldn't help but notice that they were always eyeing her carefully. Whenever she took her pills, sat down for a long period of time or even sneezed she felt like she was being monitored. It was both incredibly annoying and incredibly endearing.

Today however, she just found it to be a pain in the ass.

"I'm fine," Viv announced from the stall when she spotted Sam's shoes entering the bathroom shortly after her. She knew that the long visit to the restroom might arouse suspicion but she'd had a bit too much eggnog and a mild case of lactose intolerance meant a long visit to the ladies room. Something she'd just as soon not share with her co-workers.

"That's good but I've had a bit too much wine and I gotta pee," Sam replied as she walked into the stall next to hers.

Viv finished up her business and went to the sink to wash her hands. She heard Sam flush and then appear next to her to wash her hands as well.

"Pretty decent Christmas party this year," Sam commented as she lathered her hands.

"Yeah, not too bad," Viv replied.

Sam smiled at her in the mirror. "So, is Reggie excited to open his presents?"

"Yeah, he may be fourteen and act all tough but when it comes to Christmas he's still that little boy whose gifts we have to hide." Viv smiled as she dried her hands.

"I totally admire you. You're a great mom," Sam said as she pulled some paper towels out of the dispenser. "You're a natural."

Viv eyed her with humor and said, "Please, parenting is all trial and error. Everyday I have to learn something new."

"I know I'd be terrible at it," Sam said as she checked her lipstick and hair in the mirror.

"Every mother thinks that." Viv met Sam's eyes in the mirror and knew that she didn't buy it. So she decided to share a secret she'd kept to herself all these years. "I'm going to tell you something I've only told one other person in the world – and it wasn't Marcus."

This got Sam's attention and she turned to look at Viv.

"I dropped Reggie on his head when he was a baby." Viv smiled as Sam's eyes bugged out and her mouth gaped open. "When Reggie was four months old I was changing his diaper and he peed." Sam just looked her questioningly so Viv explained. "See, boys don't just pee, they squirt and they can get some serious distance."

"EW!" Sam cringed.

"Yeah, ew! Now usually I was able to cover him up before he made a mess but I was tired and before I knew it, he had peed all over me." Viv smiled as her friend winced at the memory. "I was twenty-four so of course it completely grossed me out. I jumped back and screamed and before I knew how it happened, Reggie rolled over and fell right off the bed. I rushed over and picked him up. He was crying and I was completely beside myself so I took him to see his pediatrician. The doctor did an exam and said he was fine but to this day I still haven't forgiven myself for it." She turned and headed to the door with Sam at her side. "If you strive for perfection you will always fall short; we just do our best."

"And you never told Marcus?" Sam asked as she and Viv made their way back to the bullpen and the party.

"No! I figured since the doctor said he was fine there was no point in mentioning it. Plus, I didn't want him to blame me if Reggie did suffer some long term effects. You know, like if he failed a test, or didn't do well at sports, I didn't want Marcus to say, 'Well, what do you expect, YOU dropped him on his head.' Who needs that?" Viv laughed and so did Sam.

The Christmas party was in full swing and everyone seemed to be having a good time. Viv spotted Martin packing up his briefcase so she and Sam walked over to his desk. "Are you leaving already?'

He turned off his computer and replied, "Yeah, my flight leaves in three hours."

"You couldn't catch a flight in the morning?" Sam asked and Viv noticed that her voice sounded a little sad.

He looked at Sam, gave her a small smile and replied, "No, I waited too long to book my ticket and all of the early morning flights are sold out. I gotta leave tonight."

"Okay, well Merry Christmas and have a nice flight," Viv said and she gave him a quick hug.

"Merry Christmas, Viv," Martin replied. When they broke apart he looked hesitatingly at Sam before moving towards her and giving her a hug. She heard him whisper "Merry Christmas, Sam."

Sam responded just as softly, "Merry Christmas, Martin."

When they broke apart Viv noticed that they looked at one another for a long moment and she suddenly wished she wasn't standing right next to them. But before she had a chance to excuse herself Danny walked over and asked, "Hey, you leaving already Marty?"

"Yeah, I have to go before things get too crazy at Kennedy. Merry Christmas Danny," he replied as the two men shook hands. "Tell Emma I said Merry Christmas to her too."

"You got it and Feliz Navidad," Danny replied as Martin put on his coat and waved a final goodbye as he headed down the hall to the elevator.

"So, Viviana, what are you up to for the holiday?" Danny asked as he popped a handful of Chex mix into his mouth.

"We're driving to Baltimore to visit my sister. What about you?" She asked sitting down in Martin's vacated chair.

"We're spending Christmas Eve with Rafi and his family and Christmas day we're driving to Ramsey to see Emma's family." Taking equal advantage of Martin's absence he sat down on his desk.

"I thought you were on call?"

"Not anymore, Jack said he'd do it since the girls wouldn't be coming to see him until the day after Christmas." Danny turned and looked at Sam. "So it looks like you and Jack are this year's suckers."

Sam shot him an evil glare but he just laughed it off.

"What are your plans, Sam?" Viv asked. Last year she had come over to her house to celebrate. Come to think of it, so did Martin. How could she have not noticed that they were dating sooner?

"I am going to inflict myself on my neighbors. They have a Christmas party every year." Sam smiled and then took a long drink of her wine. "My mom wanted me to go to Kenosha but I am trying to convince them to come see me. They've never been to New York so I am working on them to visit during Terri's spring break."

Viv sat there chatting with Sam and Danny about the gifts they bought for their friends and family trying not to think about the fact that this was most likely her last F.B.I. Christmas party.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

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Jack sat at his desk looking through old case files hoping to maybe link some information that was missed the first time around. It wasn't so much that he was looking for a new lead as much as he would do anything to avoid going home to his empty apartment. Even his father wasn't a viable distraction because he spent the entire day with him before his dad fell asleep on the sofa around 6:30 p.m.

He hated this time of year. It's so easy to feel sorry for yourself when you see families and friends laughing and sharing on what is supposed to be the most magical time of the year. He wanted to call his daughters but he knew that they were at their Christmas Pageant right about now. He had wanted to go see them but he didn't want to leave his father alone either. So they agreed that Maria would record it and they'd watch it when the girls arrived the day after Christmas.

Things were still tense with Hanna but at least she was talking to him so he considered that progress. He was sure she had more questions for him so he tried to formulate possible responses in advance. Unfortunately, every reason he came up with sounded lame even to him. But he decided that by telling Hanna these things he might also give her advice on things to avoid in her own relationships in the future. To let her know that when you are married to someone you have to make time for them, it is easy to drift apart when you work long hours and seldom see one another. Being there for the little stuff does matter – it helps keep you connected.

Of course, he preferred to think that those relationships his daughters would have were still far, far away in the future.

XXXX

Sam stood against the back wall of the elevator as 'Deck the Halls' filtered out of the static speaker. She decided she hated this song because everywhere she went for the last month was playing it. The elevator dinged and she rushed out to escape the hypnotic chorus, 'Fa-la-la-la-la, La-la-la-la.'

She decided to come by the Federal Building to pick up some work to do at home. She'd spent about an hour or so at her neighbors before she got bored out of her mind. The only people she knew were her neighbors and they were busy trying to keep everyone entertained. To make matters worse everyone who was already there knew each other and shared stories and gossip about people she hadn't even met. So since she was the odd ball out she snuck away and decided to pick up some work, Chinese food and just stay home.

As she walked down the hall she spotted Jack sitting at his desk reading through a file. She gently tapped on his door and he looked up and smiled, "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing." She smiled in return as she walked over and sat down at a chair in front of his desk. "I ducked out of my friend's party and thought I'd get caught up on my case reports. You?"

"I went to see my dad but he drifted off to sleep right in the middle of our conversation so I thought I'd get some work done." He leaned back and smiled at her. "For the first time I was actually hoping to get called in on a case. I feel a little guilty about that."

"Don't, I was hoping for the same thing." She met Jack's eyes and for a split second she felt that connection she used to have with him. "Well, I better go get those files."

"Okay." Jack nodded as she stood up and headed to the door. "Hey, Sam!"

"Yeah?" She stopped at the door and turned around to look at him.

"I was planning on going over to Hop Lee to get some dinner; do you want to join me?"

Sam hesitated a moment, something told her that this was dangerous territory but she was planning on stopping for dinner so before she knew it she replied, "Yeah, let me just go grab those files and then we can head out."

Jack nodded his head and Sam walked to her desk telling herself it was only dinner between two friends with nothing else to do on Christmas Eve. But even she didn't really buy it.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

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"I didn't know you knew so much about decorating trees," Jack said over his shoulder as he reached up to straighten the lights on some of the top branches after Sam had insisted that two of the strings were dangling too close together.

"Yeah, well, it's not something I would put down on my resumé," Sam replied. The truth was last year Martin had given her a crash course in Christmas Tree Decorating 101. She had asked him where he learned how to do all this stuff and he said between his mom's pristine, color coordinated Christmas trees and his aunt Bonnie's 'anything goes – tacky is beautiful' trees he'd picked up a few things.

She forced herself to shake off any thoughts about Martin. It would just depress her. So instead she focused on the task at hand and hung a few more ornaments on the tree.

She looked up at Jack and saw him struggling to get the lights straight and chuckled to herself. They had a nice dinner and the conversation was fun and light. He told her he had bought a fake tree so there would be something Christmas-y for the girls when they arrived but he hadn't had the time or the energy to decorate it. Before she knew how it happened she had volunteered to help and now here they were at his apartment; the one place she thought she would never celebrate this holiday.

"There, I think I got it," Jack said aloud as he stepped down the ladder to admire his handy work. "Not bad."

Sam looked up and agreed. "I think it's done. The girls are going to love it." She started picking up the empty boxes that held the ornaments and lights. "Where are their gifts? We can put them under the tree."

Jack looked at her like he had forgotten about that task. "Oh, I haven't wrapped them yet."

She frowned at him and said, "Bring them out and I'll help you."

Jack gave her a grateful smile and walked to the back bedroom to get the gifts. Sam looked around the apartment. The bookshelves were bare, nothing was hung on the wall and the only thing that looked like it got any attention was the T.V. It was probably one of the saddest apartments she'd ever seen, maybe even more so since she intimately knew the person who lived here.

She also couldn't help think that it was the complete opposite of Martin's apartment. While Martin's place may have been furnished straight out of an _Eddie Bauer _catalog there were signs of the occupant everywhere. Especially at Christmas; he always put a tree out, placed a wreath on his door and hung lights on his windows. He made his apartment a home while Jack seemed to refuse to acknowledge that he lived here.

"Okay, here we go." Jack carried out boxes marked FedEx, UPS, and see someone did all his shopping online," Sam said as she took a few boxes from Jack.

"Well, Maria always did all the shopping and with my working hours I can't make it to a department store," he explained. "I just asked the girls to tell me what they were going to ask Santa for and then double checked with Maria that we don't both get them the same things."

"Pretty complicated process for," Sam looked at one of the toys. "A BRATZ doll."

Jack shrugged his shoulders and continued to unpack the gifts.

As they sat there wrapping she couldn't help but wonder what they would be doing had things gone differently for them. If he had left Maria for her would they be planning a Christmas for just the two of them or with the girls as well? It wasn't until that moment that Sam actually really considered the fact that Jack was a dad. She always knew he was but she never really imagined herself in the equation as well. She always said she didn't want marriage and kids but yet she fell in love with a man who had exactly that – she just didn't happen to be the wife or the mother. She suddenly wondered if that is why Jack wouldn't leave Maria for her. Did he break up with her for the same reason as Martin? She thought about asking him when his cell phone rang.

Jack reached across the table to pick it up. He looked at the caller-ID and smiled as he answered, "Hey, sweetie." He looked over at Sam and mouthed, 'Kate.'

She smiled and returned to wrapping when Jack stood up and started down the hall. She eyed him curiously when she heard him whisper, "In my apartment. No, I'm all alone…."

With those four words Sam stopped what she was doing, suddenly feeling like she had been re-branded with her scarlet letter. The sick feeling in her gut overcame her as the guilt of their affair rushed over her again. She remembered that when she was 'the other woman' the devil on her shoulder would try and convince her that Maria wasn't a good wife, she didn't know how to appreciate Jack the way she did. But those thoughts didn't help her when she would lie in bed next to Jack, pretending to be asleep, while he was on the phone talking to Maria, giving her excuses about where he was and why he wasn't coming home.

Only this time it was his daughters that he was lying to.

She sat there with her head in her hands when Jack walked back out. "So their Christmas Pageant was a huge success… Sam, are you alright?"

She took a deep breath and looked up at Jack. "I heard you. I heard you tell Kate that you were here by yourself."

She saw a look of shame cross Jack's face and a part of her felt some vindication. "Sam, I'm sorry." He moved to sit down on the sofa across from her. "It's not about you. It's about me."

Sam looked at him with hard eyes and said nothing. She was not about to offer him any help in trying to explain it all away.

Jack continued, "Hanna found out about the affair. She asked me questions about you and what our relationship was now. I told her…..I told her we were just co-workers. It would confuse her to know that you were here."

"'Just co-workers'? Not friends but co-workers." Sam breathed. It took her a moment to register the hurt of not only being exposed as an adulterer to his daughter but that she was nothing more than someone he worked with now. "I see."

"I didn't know what to tell her. It is an extremely difficult situation. She is still barely speaking to me and I didn't want her to misinterpret why you were here. I didn't mean to upset you." He reached out and gently touched her left hand. "You have to believe me."

Sam just looked at him, swallowed her hurt and decided to just hash it all out right now. She turned to Jack and softly asked, "Did it ever bother you that I always said I didn't want to get married or have kids?"

He looked down at his one hand on top of hers and said, "I never really thought about it."

"Why not? Why didn't it matter?" Sam asked as Jack still refused to look up. "Is it because you were already married?'

"Sam, that isn't fair." He finally looked up to meet her gaze. "We both knew the situation going into our relationship."

She took a moment to process what he said. Or rather what he didn't say. He never imagined them together for a long time. She suddenly appreciated what it meant to be with someone who was completely focused on having a future with you.

"Sam," Jack squeezed her hand and she looked up. "I know I don't deserve it but I would like a second chance for us. A chance to get it right, do it the right way."

Sam licked her lips, looked down at their hands and realized that if she were in this situation a year ago she would have leapt at the chance and never looked back. But she was a different woman than she used to be and it was all Martin's fault. Damn him.

"Talk to me," Jack pressed. "What do you think?"

"Exactly how would we get it right this time? You're still my supervisor – it's against regulations for us to date," Sam replied as she gently tapped his hand with the fingers from her free hand. "What about your kids? I mean, at what point do you tell them that we are together after telling Hanna we are 'just co-workers'?"

She looked up and met Jack's eyes. His gaze was sad as he rubbed his chin with his other hand and Sam knew that he realized that she was right. Their relationship would still have to be secretive or one of them would have to transfer out. And she knew that they both loved what they did too much to give it up. She was surprised that she didn't feel as sad as she thought she would. Maybe she was finally getting the closure that she needed after all this time. Maybe she really was a different woman.

Sam carefully slid her hand out from under Jack's and clasped them together on her lap as they sat there in silence, bathed in the soft glow of the twinkling lights on the Christmas tree.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

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Martin padded softly down the hall so he wouldn't wake up his two nieces who were conked out on the sofa. They had wanted to camp out right next to the tree so they could catch Santa delivering their presents. But a long day of running around and eating sweets resulted in a serious sugar crash and they were out before ten o'clock. As he passed he noticed that Olivia was hogging the covers so he carefully pulled the soft afghan blanket over Amy so she could get some warmth too. He brushed some hair away from Amy's eyes and patted her head gently before continuing down the hall to the kitchen. He was about to switch on the light when he decided against it; there was enough moonlight filtering in that he could see where everything was. He walked over to the fridge and opened it up trying to decide what would make a good midnight snack.

"You couldn't sleep either?" Martin turned around and saw his father, Victor, standing behind him.

"Must be hereditary," he replied.

The two men stood in front of the open refrigerator, illuminated by the soft yellow light. Victor put his hand on Martin's shoulder and said, "So, what shall we eat? That turkey was pretty good, is there enough left for a few sandwiches?"

"I think so." Martin reached in and pulled out the container while Victor wandered to the counter to get the bread and utensils. He put the turkey, lettuce, and tomato on the table, along with the mayo and mustard when he turned back asking, "What do you want to drink?"

"I'll take some milk," Victor replied as he sat down at the table.

Martin grabbed the pitcher of milk and shut the door. He took a couple of clean glasses from the cabinet and sat down across from his dad.

As they assembled their snack, Victor quietly asked, "So, how are things?"

He put the top slice of bread on his sandwich and studied it. The Fitzgerald men don't have long heart to heart talks so he simply replied, "Fine. How are things with you, why couldn't you sleep?" Martin bit into his sandwich and looked up, waiting for his dad's response.

"I'm worried about the playoffs. The _Redskins_ have really blown it again this year." Victor smiled as he held up his sandwich and took a bite. Once he swallowed he added, "I'm over sixty and I haven't had a decent night's sleep in years. How about you? How are things at work, Jack treating you well?"

Martin considered his answered as he chewed. It was no secret that his father did not care for Jack Malone and while there were times he may have had issues with Jack, he would never voice them, especially to his father who happened to be the Deputy Director of the F.B.I. He finished chewing and simply said, "Good. We've been pretty busy but that's the job, right?"

His father gave him a small smile and nodded his head as he continued eating. "This is a pretty good sandwich. Hilde certainly knows how to cook a bird."

Hilde was his parent's housekeeper for the last thirty years.

"Yes, she does." He was about to take another bite when he stopped and asked, "Do you remember the year mom decided that she would make a traditional Irish Christmas dinner all by herself?"

"How could I forget? She burned half the dinner. I didn't even know you could burn mashed potatoes." Victor laughed. "And she made that wretched spiced beef. I was burping that meal for at least a week."

"That's because you were the only one who actually ate it." Martin smirked. "We feed ours to Chester under the table."

"I know. I had to walk him, and believe me: the beef disagreed with him, too." Victor laughed softly and a little later added, "God it was awful."

"It's a good thing you didn't marry mom for her cooking," he said as he finished off his sandwich.

"You're right about that," Victor replied as he took a drink of his milk.

Martin paused and asked, "How did you know mom was the one?"

He could see his dad considering how to respond when he gently said, "I don't know exactly. I knew I liked her. She was smart, feisty and incredibly hard headed." Victor smiled mischievously at Martin. "You know, I was actually planning to propose to someone else when I met your mom."

Martin raised his eyebrows and asked, "Really?"

"Her name was Elle McCain." As Victor spoke Martin leaned forward and listened intently. "It was back in college. She was gorgeous, vivacious, and I seriously thought I was in love with her. Then I met your mom. We ended up in the same study group for a political science class. She argued with me on just about everything. If I said the sky was blue she would say that it was actually a matter of light waves interacting with the atmosphere."

Martin laughed. That pretty much summed up his mother. She never pulled any punches.

Victor continued, "I still don't know how it happened but I found myself wanting to spend more and more time with Kate. I'd find an excuse to show up at the same parties as her or arrange it so we would happen to run into each other. It wasn't exactly for romantic reasons; I just really liked talking to her. She was so different from the girls I knew. I guess Elle noticed it too because she said she was tired of me talking about Kat all the time and she broke it off with me. So being a free man I rushed out, told your mom that Elle and I were over and then I asked her out. She marched right up to me, looked me straight in the eye and said it was about damn time."

Martin laughed and leaned back in his chair and took a drink of his milk.

Victor stopped and studied him carefully. "Does this have anything to do with Samantha Spade?" Martin eyed his father over the rim of his glass as he explained, "Your mother told me."

He didn't say anything but just shrugged his shoulders. He didn't know what to think about Sam anymore and he certainly did not want to be criticized for his decision either.

"For what it's worth, I don't think you're an idiot. I'm sure you did what you thought was best for the both of you." Victor stood up and put his dishes in the sink before heading to the door. He paused and not looking at Martin said, "I know you think I put too much pressure on you or try to influence how you live your life but it's only because I thought you could do great things. I still do. But when you were in the coma I promised myself that if you were to wake up I would support you in doing whatever you wanted to do or being with whomever you pleased. I just wanted you to be awake, alive and happy." Victor looked up at him and a little later added, "I know I don't say this enough but you're a good man, Martin and I'm proud to be your father."

The two men's eyes met and Martin wanted to say something but all of his words were blocked by the giant lump in his throat.

"I better get to bed. The girls are going to be awake in a few hours and they will not let us sleep in when there are presents to be unwrapped." Victor gave a quick nod to Martin and started down the hall. "Goodnight, Martin."

"Goodnight dad," Martin breathed softly.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

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Sam's eyes flickered open and groaned when she realized that the sun hadn't even risen yet and she was awake. Damn internal clocks. She lay in bed trying to decide if she should get up or just linger in bed. She didn't feel tired, in fact, she felt better than she had in years. She considered getting up to a least get a cup of coffee when she heard a thump on her door. Deciding that it must be her morning paper she rolled out of bed and walked to her front door. She swung the door open and reached down to get the paper when she noticed a small Christmas present sitting on top of it. She looked up and saw a familiar figure heading down the hall.

"Danny!" she shouted, probably a little too loudly for this early in the morning.

He stopped and turned around smiling. "Damn, and here I thought I was going to make a safe getaway." He walked back up the hall to her apartment. "I see you got the gift. I didn't want to leave it on your doorstep but I didn't want to wake you up either. I know how moody you are in the morning."

"Why exactly are you leaving Christmas gifts on my doorstep?" Sam asked genuinely confused.

"It's not from me, it's from Martin. He called me yesterday and said that they had sent it to his apartment by accident instead of directly to you. He asked me if I could pick it up and drop it off on my way out of town."

"I'm sorry, that's out of your way isn't it?"

"Not really, Emma lives near Martin. Speaking of which, I gotta go if we are going to make it to her parent's house in time." Danny leaned over and gave Sam a brief hug and said, "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," she replied. "And tell Emma I told her Merry Christmas, too."

"You got it. Bye," Danny said as he disappeared down the stairs.

As soon as he was out of sight, Sam picked up her newspaper and headed back inside her apartment. She tossed the paper on the coffee table and sat on the sofa studying the gift. It was a small box wrapped in a shiny deep red foil with silk gold ribbon. When she shook it, it made some clanking noises.

She crossed her legs and sat back on the sofa, ripping the paper off to find a small black box. She opened it up and her breath caught in her chest. It was a silver charm bracelet. She picked up the bracelet and began examining the charms as she recalled telling Martin about the charm bracelet she has lost years ago.

XXX

_They were entering his building and he stopped to check his mail. He opened up his little brass mail box and pulled out a small package when he exclaimed, "Alright, it's here!" _

_Sam eyed the box curiously and asked, "What is it?" _

"_My mom repaired my granddad's watch, the one he left me in his will. She'd been holding on to it all these years." He opened up the box and pulled out a leather box. He popped it open and inside was a wristwatch with a dark brown leather band and a gold encased face. Inside the face were the standard markings of a watch along with two smaller circles that when Sam looked closely showed the month and day of the week. It had hands to mark the hour, minutes and seconds and at the bottom was a small square that marked the day. It was an impressive looking timepiece. "It's a Stauer that was made in 1944. It has a hunter's back." Martin flipped the watch over and there was a secret compartment that reminded her of a locket. "My granddad had put a photo of my grandmother in there so he would always have her picture with him. The photo was removed long ago, I guess when the watch broke but I remember him showing it to me once." _

_Sam admired the watch and the way Martin held it, like he realized he was holding a little bit of history in his hands. He quickly removed the watch he was wearing and put the restored timepiece on his wrist. He held out his arm and said, "What do you think?" _

"_It looks like it was made just for you." She smiled as a little wave of nostalgia crossed her face._

"_What?" Martin asked in that soft voice he used when he spoke to her._

"_Nothing, it's just that your really lucky that you still have this link to you grandfather." Sam shrugged, gave him a quick kiss before motioning them to elevator. _

_When they boarded she could see Martin eyeing her and she knew he wanted to ask her a question so she decided to spare him any more discomfort. "When I was little my grandmother gave me a charm bracelet. It wasn't an expensive one, it was silver plated, but I loved it. She said she picked out each charm just for me. There was a one of two little girls holding hands that was supposed to represent me and my sister; a rose because I used to help her in her garden; a elaborate letter 'S' for my name; an airplane because I said I wanted to travel; one shaped like Wisconsin with the states name on it so I wouldn't forget where I came from; and there was one more…" Sam mentally tried to recall what it looked like when she used to wear it and unconsciously moved her fingers around her wrist. "Oh, and a firefly because I used to love collecting them so they would light up my bedroom."_

"_That sounds like a really thoughtful gift," Martin said softly as he pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. _

"_It was. She said she would give me a new charm whenever something memorable happened," Sam quietly recalled. "But she died four months later of a stroke so we never added any more charms."_

"_Well, you could do that yourself you know, keep the connection alive that way," he whispered softly to the top of her head._

"_I guess I could've but I lost it during one of the many moves I've made in my life." She leaned her head against Martin's chest and softly finished, "I didn't appreciate how important it was to me until it was gone." _

XXX

Sam glanced at the charms and saw that he had remembered each one that had grandmother had originally given her as well as adding some new ones: a diploma which must represent her graduation from college; a gun and handcuff combo charm that she guessed was meant to be symbolic of being a federal agent; and the final new addition, a tiny little taxi cab.

She clenched the bracelet in her hand and softly said, "Damn you Martin. What are you trying to do to me?"


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

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Martin rolled over in bed and rubbed his eyes as he reached for his ringing cell phone. He finally made contact with the device and without looking at the caller-ID he flipped it open and answered, "Fitzgerald."

"Hi, Martin, it's Sam." The second he heard her voice he was wide awake. "Merry Christmas"

"Merry Christmas, Sam." He glanced at the clock on the nightstand, its bright red digits reading 6:48 AM. "Is everything alright?"

"Sorry, to call you so early but I got your gift and I wanted to say thank you." Sam's voice was soft and Martin sighed back onto his pillow. "I'm completely blown away, it's wonderful."

"I'm glad you like it," he replied. He had planned on getting her the bracelet shortly after she had told him the story about the treasured gift from her grandmother. He didn't realize how hard it would be to find all the charms Sam had told him about when he finally found a jeweler in Vermont who not only specialized in making charm bracelets but could custom make some of the charms like the firefly and the NYC taxi cab. He had placed the order right before he had ended things with her again and had forgotten about it until the jeweler called him and confirmed that it would be ready by Christmas.

"I can't believe you actually remembered each of the charms."

"Benefit of being a special agent: attention to details." Martin smiled against the receiver.

Sam was silent on the other end of the line for a few beats and as Martin was about to break the silence, she finally spoke, "I just can't help but wonder this gift is supposed to mean."

He paused and considered how to reply. He was the one who broke it off and while he wasn't sure if it would be right to give her the bracelet he knew he still wanted her to have it no matter what. But he also knew it wasn't fair to mislead her, for both their sakes; so he swallowed his feelings and said, "It means that I'm glad we can still be friends in spite of it all."

"Friends, right. I guess that's better than co-worker." Sam's voice was tinged with hurt and it made Martin's heart ache for her. Then she asked in a cool tone, "What if I want more than friendship?"

He closed his eyes and replied, "It wouldn't last. We want different things. Or have you changed your mind?"

"Have you?" Her voice became low and threatening. "What if I don't think it's fair that you broke up with me twice for your own arbitrary reasons and left me to pick up the pieces? You led me on by getting back together with me again."

"Sam, I'll take anything you throw at me about my breaking up with you the second time. I know that's on me. But don't you dare tell me you didn't have everything to do with how we ended the first time." He was still hurt and angry. "You were the one who didn't want to fight harder remember."

"I remember. I also remember asking you for a second chance and doing everything I could to try and make you happy. Or was it just a game to you? Make me sorry that I didn't fight for you the first time so you get me to fall for you again, sleep with me and then dump me again."

"If you even think that I would do that than it is obvious you don't know me at all," he rumbled.

"Maybe I don't. Because I don't know how you could be so selfish as to only think of what you would have to give up by being with me, not about what I had to give up."

"And what exactly did you have to give up, Sam?" Martin asked as he sat up and scooted back against the headboard.

"You want to know what I gave up? I gave up a second chance with Jack," she retorted, almost shouting. He felt like he had just been stabbed in the heart but before he could say anything she quickly apologized. "I'm sorry, Martin. I didn't mean that, I don't even know why I said it."

"You said it, Sam. There must be some truth it," Martin replied crisply.

"No, in fact he asked me yesterday and I said…."

"Yesterday?" Martin repeated. He could feel the little green eyed monster named "jealousy" rising up in him. "Jack asked you back yesterday?"

"It's not like how it sounds. It was Christmas Eve and I was at his apartment…."

"Save it, Sam. It's none of my business and it's your life." Martin knew he was being unreasonable and out of line but for some reason she always managed to bring out those qualities in him.

"Martin…." Sam began.

"Merry Christmas, see you next year." He hung up before she even had a chance to reply. He turned off his cell phone and lay back in bed fuming. He didn't know why he was so hurt. He broke it off with her and if he were Jack he would take advantage of the opportunity, too.

But there was the rub: he was the one who let Sam go and he had no one to blame but himself.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

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Sam dialed Martin's number again but when it went straight to voicemail she knew he had turned it off. She pressed the 'End' button and threw her phone across the room shouting, "Shit!"

When she called she had envisioned it going much differently. Mainly that Martin would admit that she was the one for him; that he made a terrible mistake by breaking it off with her, that he loved and couldn't live without her. But then he had to go and make that comment about being friends and suddenly all her frustrations bubbled to the surface. She got so angry that he would give her a gift that he knew would mean a lot to her. She wanted to hurt him as much as she was hurting by him refusing her but still being so goddamn thoughtful. She didn't know why she said that comment about Jack. Actually she did know, she was angry and hurt and wanted him to feel as badly as she did and she knew that Jack was still very much a sore spot for him.

As soon as the words left her mouth she knew she knew that she had crossed that invisible line in any argument. The one that if it had a sign would read: 'You've Gone Too Far – No Turning Back'. She tried to quickly backtrack and erase what she had said but the words were already out there and could never be unsaid. She had only made things worse when she tried to offer up further explanations. She wished she was there in Washington so she could grab him and force him to listen to her.

Her cell phone started ringing and she jumped off the sofa to go pick it up. "Martin?"

"Samantha? Is that you, honey?" Diane asked, worriedly.

"Hi mom, merry Christmas," Samantha switched gears quickly trying to sound cheerful. She knew her mom was worried about her spending Christmas alone.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just thought you were someone else." Samantha tried to sound casual.

"Someone named Martin? Isn't that your ex-boyfriend?" Diane's voice was soft and caring and it caused something inside of Sam to break down.

"Yes." Despite all of Sam's best efforts her voice cracked and tears began to fall.

"Samantha, talk to me," Diane softly pleaded.

She told her mom everything; from her dinner with Jack last night to the charm bracelet to Martin hanging up on her. When she was done she softly asked, "What's wrong with me? I just can't seem to let go of men who continually tell me that it's over. It's like a sickness."

Her mom was quiet for a few moments when she spoke up and in a demanding voice said, "What's his phone number? I'm going to call him and tell him give him a piece of my mind."

Sam laughed. "Thanks mom, but I think I have to handle this on my own."

"Are you sure? Because I don't know who he thinks he is to give you a gift like that and then claim it was all about friendship."

"I'm sure but it helps to have you listen. It really means a lot," Sam replied softly as her tears dried.

"Sweetie, you are an amazing woman and if he cannot appreciate how lucky he is to have you in his life than it is his loss. And I say good riddance." Diane spoke with fiery passion. "You deserve someone who loves you for who you are and not who he wants you to be."

"Thank you, mom," she replied; just having someone listen to her lifted a great weight off of her chest. Sam took a deep breath and decided that she didn't want her mom to think she spent all her holidays in tears. So she mustered up some Christmas cheer and asked, "So, tell me, how's Christmas in Kenosha? Did Terri like the gift I sent?"


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

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Martin was still in his bed tossing and turning. He was fuming that what had started out as a pleasant phone call could suddenly go so terribly bad. He knew he had no right being hurt – he was the one who ended it with Sam, sent her a gift so obviously fraught with meaning and then turned her down again. She had every right to be pissed off. He had no business acting so defensively and petulantly but she had to have known that telling him about how she spent Christmas Eve with Jack was below the belt.

"It's Christmas! It's Christmas! Wake up, it's Christmas!" His nieces shouted as they ran down the halls trying to wake everybody up so they could open gifts.

He sighed and closed his eyes, reminding himself that this was a holiday and his family didn't need to see him walking around like a wounded puppy licking his wounds. So he pushed his thoughts of Sam aside and put on that brave Fitzgerald façade. There was a knock on the door and a second later it burst open and two little girls dressed in pink and purple pajamas jumped on his bed shouting, "Wake up, uncle Marty! Wake up, it's Christmas!"

Martin kept his eyes closed, pretending to still be asleep and not having heard them. Amy and Olivia tried shaking him awake and shouted gleefully, "It's Christmas!"

While his eyes were shut tight his cover was blown because he couldn't help but smile. The two girls were laughing and trying to wrestle him out of bed when Parker, still dressed in her robe, leaned against the doorjamb smiling and her husband Curtis stood behind her and shouted, "Come on girls, you can take him!"

The two girls laughed and shook him until he finally surrendered and said, "Alright, I'm awake!" Martin opened his eyes to find his nieces looking bright eyed and bushy tailed. He leaned up and the girls bounced off the bed so he could get up. Martin searched for his socks, putting them on before starting to the door dressed in his flannel pajama bottoms and a t-shirt.

"Did Santa visit last night?" He asked his youngest niece, Amy, as they headed downstairs.

"YES!" Amy shouted with the enthusiasm befitting a four-year old.

"He did? Did you and Olivia see him?" he gasped as he followed a bemused Parker and Curtis who were chatting with their older daughter.

"No," she replied slightly sad before looking up at him and hopefully saying, "But Olivia said next year we're going to build a trap so we can catch him."

"I don't know about that. If you trap him how will he be able to deliver all his gifts to the other kids?" Martin queried.

"Um…" she replied looking quite perplexed. "I don't know. I'll go ask Olivia." Amy ran ahead and started talking to her wiser, older sister.

He looked down the hall and saw his mom and dad slowing filtering into the hall and said, "Good morning."

Katherine smiled and replied, "Good morning." While Victor just nodded his head and gave a little wave. Victor was definitely someone who needed his cup of coffee in the morning before he was fit to be around humans.

As they all shuffled into the living room he saw that Reese and Scott were already downstairs. Reese was leaning against Scott, who was holding a baby monitor in his hand. They looked over at everyone filtering in and said in unison, "Morning."

Forty-five minutes later every gift had been unwrapped and the girls were knee deep in toys and clothes. The adults were one their second cup of coffee and chatting about their gifts. Martin sat on the floor with his back to the sofa while discussing golf with his brother-in-laws and the new set of clubs Curtis got when Amy leapt up and yelped, "Mom! Uncle Marty's present!"

Parker replied, "Oh, yeah. Do you want to go get it?" Amy nodded and started down the hall. "Olivia, please go help your sister."

Curtis stood up and said, "I better go too just in case."

Martin looked over at Parker and asked, "I get another present and it requires three people to go get it? Why do I have a bad feeling about this?"

His older sister didn't say anything but just smiled at him mischievously. He was about to ask what the present was when he heard his nieces shouting, "Milo come back! Milo!"

He leaned over so he could peer down the hall and saw a chocolate Labrador running straight towards him. The big dog came right up to him and began sniffing and licking before turning his attention to everyone else in the family as well as the piles of gifts. He turned to his sister and asked, "You got me a dog?"

"Yes!" Both his nieces shouted as they played tug of war with the furry brown beast.

Parker leaned in close to Martin and said, "Yes, I did. My neighbor, Mr. Schwartzman has to move to retirement community since his wife's Alzheimer's is worsening. He couldn't take Milo and wanted to know if I knew anyone who would make a good owner and I thought of you."

He cocked his eyebrow and said, "Me? Your brother who works long hours…"

"My brother who keeps insisting that he wants to get married, have kids and a dog. Yes, you. First of all, you can't keep saying you want those things and never doing anything about it. Plus, Milo is a great dog who will keep you company until the other stuff comes along."

"Not to mention dogs are a total chick magnet," Curtis added.

"Mom, what's a chick magnet?" Amy asked from where she sat trying to keep her new dolls out of Milo's mouth.

"Yeah, Curtis, feel free to explain that one," Parker commented frowning at her husband.

While the rest of the family was distracted by Curtis trying to give the definition of a 'chick magnet' to his 4-year old daughter, Milo wandered back over to Martin.

Milo was an undeniably beautiful dog. He had shiny brown fur and big brown eyes. Martin scratched him behind the ears and the dog's tail began wagging wildly before he collapsed, draping himself across Martin's legs.

Martin wished humans could find happiness that easily.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

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"_The hottest love has the coldest end." - Socrates _

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"Martin, he's fine," Katherine repeated for the fourth time as they entered the Burke's home and she handed her coat to the attendant.

He removed his own coat and handed it the attendant as well. "I know. It's just he's in a new house and this is the first night…"

"Martin, he's a dog. He will be fine. Hilde is there with him." Victor took the claim ticket and put it in his jacket pocket.

"Okay, you're right. So who are the Burke's? Have I met them?" Martin asked. He didn't know how his mother managed to talk him into coming to a political function disguised as a Christmas party.

"I don't believe so. We've only known them about six years. William Burke is on the U.S. Circuit of Appeals, his wife Abby chairs several charities and they have two sons," Katherine hurriedly said as she spotted Abby Burke approaching.

"Katherine and Victor, I'm so glad you could make it." Abby Burke was a pleasant woman with bright blue eyes and even brighter blonde hair.

"Hello, Abby. You look fabulous." Katherine smiled.

"Thank you. You look great, too." Abby gave Katherine a quick peck on the cheek. "Victor, you look as handsome as ever."

"Abby, it's good to see you." Victor smiled broadly before turning to introduce Martin. "This is our son, Martin."

Martin extended his hand and smiled, "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Burke."

"It is so wonderful to see you up and around." Mrs. Burke practically oozed sympathy and it made him incredibly uncomfortable. "It was just so tragic what happened to you. I can't imagine how you are dealing with it all."

"I'm well, thank you for asking," Martin replied, trying to sound pleasant. "You have a lovely home."

"My god, you are probably just grateful to be alive…" Mrs. Burke continued seemingly unaware that he did not seem the least bit inclined to discuss it. "It's a miracle you survived. I saw the photo of the car you were driving in the paper."

"Yes, he is a miracle," Katherine interjected as she began leading Abby away. "Tell me, how is William?"

"The last time I saw him he was arguing with Senator Carmichael about something or other," Abby replied as she and Katherine walked into the main room.

"I'm afraid you might have to get used to that, son," Victor quietly said.

"I know, it's just….disconcerting," Martin replied. He still found it so strange to have people he didn't know talk about a time he didn't remember.

Victor put his hand on Martin's shoulder and said, "What do you say we go find the bar?"

"I say lead the way." Martin smiled; heaven knows he could certainly use a drink.

A few hours and about a hundred, 'How are you coping?' comments later, he snuck off to find either the washroom or an escape hatch.

Making his way through a maze of hallways he somehow ended up in the rear of the house. It was virtually deserted and instead of the washroom he found a bright spacious sunroom. While it wasn't sunny the view of the snow gently falling was a pretty awe inspiring site. He entered and looked around. It reminded him of a fancier version of his Aunt Bonnie's greenhouse. As he was inspecting the flora and fauna he heard someone approach from behind and when he turned around he saw a woman rush in, put her index finger to her lips and hide behind a Fichus tree.

He was about to ask her what was going on when he spotted a man around his age wearing an expensive tux and a bad comb-over trail in a few seconds later. He looked at Martin with drunken eyes and asked, "Hey, did you see a hot chick, around 5'8", long brown hair, blue eyes and a body that won't quit come in here?"

"No," he replied without hesitation.

"Oh, okay," Don Juan replied and then he headed down the opposite direction.

He watched him walk away and when he knew he was out of ear shot he looked to the Fichus tree and said, "You can come out now, its all clear."

As the woman emerged from behind the tree Martin thought that while that guy was a sleaze he described her perfectly. She was beautiful.

"Thank you." She smiled brightly at Martin. "I did everything I could to try and get rid of him just short of pulling out my gun." She sighed and added, "But then again, he'd probably find it a turn-on."

"Do you attend all Christmas parties armed?" Martin asked smiling.

"Only the ones in Washington," she replied with a grin and extended her hand. "Hi, I'm Ruby Carmichael."

He shook her hand and replied, "Martin Fitzgerald."

"I know who you are."

"Oh, yeah," Martin said as his eyes drifted down the hall.

"No, well, yeah, you are a hot topic tonight but I also know you from the bureau. I work in Behavioral Sciences here in Washington. Your team had everyone's attention after the General Gamba assassination," Ruby replied matter-of-factly. He liked that her tone wasn't full of pity or idle curiosity.

He smiled and asked, "You work BSU? So are you a hot shot profiler?"

"Oh, yeah, the best," Ruby replied sarcastically. "That's why my keen profiling mind was able to think of a good excuse to tell my parents to get out of having to attend this party."

"You too, huh?" Martin agreed. "I'm guessing you're Senator Carmichael's daughter."

"That's me," she replied with a sheepish grin as she looked around the room. "They claim it's for familial support but have you noticed it mostly the single children they drag to these things? I have two brothers and two sisters but I'm the only one who gets the guilt trip about attending because I'm not married or have kids."

"I think that is exactly why they bring us. I always seem to only be introduced to people who have single daughters." Martin laughed.

"True. That's how I ended up with Bobby Burke following me around all night." Ruby paused and eyed Martin with a puzzled look on her face. "It's funny that we haven't met sooner."

"I live in New York and I hadn't been home for a few holidays. I'm sure we would've been introduced eventually," he commented.

"You're probably right." She smiled and looked around the room before walking to the large bay window and admired the view. "This is a great room."

He walked up to stand alongside her and looked out onto the view from the hill. "It is. You can see almost all of D.C. from here."

They stood there staring out onto the city when they heard a woman's voice call out, "Ruby darling? You back there?"

Ruby turned around and said, "Yeah, mom. I'm here." She gave a quick glance to Martin before walking to the doorway. "What is it?"

"Your father wants to leave. He and Judge Burke have been bickering all night." Dana Carmichael was sharp looking woman who looked like an older version of Ruby. She was actually one of the few guests who didn't try to corner Martin to discuss his 'situation'. "Oh, hello Martin," she said with her eyes darting between Martin and Ruby. "I'm sorry. I hope I didn't interrupt anything."

Martin looked at Ruby who gave him a hapless smile and shook her head laughing. "No, mom, it's okay. Let's go." She motioned her mom out of the room before she stopped and turned to look at him. "It was nice meeting you Martin Fitzgerald."

"Nice meeting you too, Ruby Carmichael," he replied with a small wave as she disappeared down the hall.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

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"_I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived." - Margaret Mitchell_

XXXXXXX

Sam trudged into the Starbucks around the corner from the federal building. She needed high octane caffeine and she needed it now. She took her place at the end of a long line of suits to wait her turn before the caffeine gods. She was in the middle of trying to decide what coffee concoction she wanted to order when someone bumped into her, spilling their drink onto her shoulder. She turned around and saw a man with big brown eyes, chiseled features and wavy chestnut hair looking back at her.

"Oh, man, I am so sorry." He quickly pulled a napkin out and started dabbing her shoulder to try and absorb the coffee. "It's asses to elbows in here. "

"It's okay." Sam took one the napkins he held and started to try and get ride of the coffee as well.

"You have to let me pay for the dry cleaning," he offered.

"No, really its fine, you didn't do it on purpose," she said as she finished getting rid of most of the coffee spill.

"You have to at least let me buy your coffee," he insisted with a wide smile.

She eyed him carefully before deciding, "Sure, why not?" Who was she to turn down a very handsome man offering to buy her a coffee? Her eyes involuntarily went to his left hand and she saw no wedding ring. Sam quickly checked herself, why was she so concerned if this guy was married?

"Great, I'm David by the way. David Hewson," he introduced with an extended hand.

"Samantha Spade," she replied, shaking his hand. She waited for the inevitable Sam Spade reference but it never came. He just smiled and got in line next to her.

About twenty minutes later she and David headed out of Starbucks, coffees in hand. While they waited in line she had learned that he worked in advertising, liked to ski, and was very much single because before she even knew how it happened, they had made a date for Friday night.

"I don't care what you say, STYX is a great band and someday they will be appreciated for their genius," David commented. Sam thought it was so cute that he tried to sound serious but his laughing gave him away.

"It's so sad that you might truly believe that," she replied dryly.

David stopped at the corner and prepared to cross the street. He smiled at her and said, "So, I'll see you Friday?"

"Friday it is," Sam replied, smiling right back at him.

She watched as he crossed the street and wondered what she had gotten herself into? Two days ago she was crying about Martin and today she had a date with someone else. She felt slight tinge of guilt but reminded herself that she couldn't waste any more tears over Martin. They were over and it was time for her to move on.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

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It was a surprisingly nice morning in Georgetown so Martin decided that he would take Milo for a run along the C&O Canal Towpath. Unfortunately, it was not going as planned.

"Come on, Milo," he urged as he tugged at the leash ineffectually. He and Milo were still learning how to run together but it was slow going since the dog being a dog, wanted to stop every ten feet to either sniff or pee; sometimes both. "Alright, Milo, either do your business or let's move on."

"That's right. Tell that dog whose boss," a female voice said.

Martin turned around and saw Ruby jogging up behind him. She smiled as she slowed down to stop right next to him. Milo, excited by someone new, stopped sniffing at the fence and went up to greet her.

"Hello," he said as Ruby crouched down to pet Milo. He was surprised to see her but then he remembered that this was a popular running trail.

"Hi, Martin," she greeted as she let Milo sniff her hand before she began petting him. "So, who's your friend?"

"This is Milo."

"Hi, Milo," Ruby said as she began scratching Milo behind the ears. Martin smiled down and knew that she had just made herself a friend for life. She looked up at him and asked, "Do you always bring him with you when you come to visit?"

"Actually, I've only had him for three days. He was a Christmas gift," he replied, meeting Ruby's eyes as she stood up.

"He's a great gift. I miss having a dog," she replied quietly. "I used to have a Border Collie named Dancer but I had to have her put down a few months ago. She had leukemia."

"Oh, I'm sorry," he replied sadly.

"Well, I had her for ten years so we had lots of time together," Ruby said as Milo returned to his sniffing. "Having a dog is great though. You're never alone and it really keeps your ego in check." Martin tilted his head and eyed her questioningly when she explained, "It's impossible to take yourself too seriously when you have to stop and pick up dog shit."

"Good point." Martin laughed.

She looked at him and asked, "So, have you guys been out running for long?"

"No, so far we've covered less than a mile. Milo finds everything so interesting."

"Well, it's all new turf. It'll get easier when you have a regular routine," Ruby commented before asking, "Do you want to run together? It can get boring running alone."

"Yeah, that'd be great." Martin glanced over at Milo who was now pulling away. "Apparently Milo is ready to get going too. Shall we?" Martin gestured to the park's trail.

Ruby smiled and took off at an easy pace as Martin joined her.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

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Martin stood in front of the full length mirror trying to adjust his bow tie. This was his fifth attempt and it still came out crooked. He untied the black silk and tried once again. It seemed that the sixth time was a charm because he was able to make it look fairly decent if not perfect. He looked over at Milo who was watching him from on top of his bed. "You're lucky to be a dog and not have to worry about this kind of stuff. No one cares what you wear." Milo just looked up at him and rolled over wanting to have his tummy rubbed.

He walked over and affectionately rubbed the dog's belly. He'd only had Milo for a week but he absolutely adored him. And judging by how Milo followed him around the house the feeling was mutual. "Okay, buddy, I have to go downstairs and make an appearance at the party." Martin rolled over and grabbed the remote to click on the TV. "Do you want _Animal Planet_ or _ESPN_?" Milo gave a little bark so he put it on the sports network and said, "Good choice."

He gave the dog a final pat before heading downstairs.

Every year his parents threw a lavish New Year's Eve party and this year was no exception. Gold and silver balloons hung from the rafters, the wait staff moved throughout the room with trays lined with succulent appetizers or champagne and all the party goers were dressed to the nines.

He made the obligatory rounds at the party, stopping to chat with old friends of the family, some of the political higher ups that his parents always wanted him to know, as well as some agents he remembered from Quantico. Even though Ruby had called him early this morning to tell him she had to fly to North Dakota to help the agents there profile a possible serial killer he found himself scanning the crowd looking for her. He was really hoping she would be here tonight because he didn't want to spend this New Year's thinking about how he celebrated last year.

After they had gone for that first run together they stopped and picked up some coffee and he walked her home. Then they made a date to run again the following morning which led to dinner on Friday night. On their date they had a great dinner and strolled through the National Mall just talking. He was so comfortable around her. She was easy to talk to, funny, smart, and beautiful. She grew up in Boston but spent a lot of time in Washington once her father became a senator. They had similar background experiences in terms of class, education and socially they knew a lot of the same people. Over dinner she told him that she wanted to have a big family like the one she came from and he knew that she was great with Milo.

She was perfect for him in every single way except that she wasn't Sam.

After their date on Friday, Martin parked the car and walked her to her door. The weather was chilly and wet; the cold air stinging his face. As they approached the front door to her brownstone he couldn't help but think that Ruby looked so lovely with her cheeks pink from the frosty air, her long brown hair cascading down her back. He felt so drawn to her that before he knew how it happened he leaned in a kissed her. Ruby relaxed into the kiss and the moment seemed to stand still. He was a bundle of mixed emotions: excited, guilty, nervous, awkward, optimistic, and too many others to name. It was weird to kiss someone else after Sam. Not bad, not bad at all, just _different_.

Martin's cell phone rang jolting him back to the present. He pulled it out of his jacket pocket, smiled when he saw who it was and answered, "So is North Dakota in December as cold as they say?"

Ruby laughed softly and replied, "Colder. I'd be tempted to shack up with one the local deputies for the body heat except I find it difficult to get aroused by men who use words like, 'Yah' 'hon' 'you betcha' or 'darn tootin'."

"Yah, I know whatcha mean," Martin replied in his best _Fargo_ impression.

She laughed. "How are things on the home front?"

"Oh, you know: party, party, party," Martin replied full of mirth. "It's too bad you're missing it."

She laughed. "Please, there is nothing like spending New Year's Eve at the sheriff's station in Dilworth, North Dakota. We have cold coffee and day old donuts."

This time he laughed. He wandered away from the crowd of partygoers to find someplace quiet to talk and asked, "How's the case going?"

"Too soon to tell. We were finally able to remove the body from the scene a few hours ago. Her blood caused her to freeze to the pavement so it took some time. And now I am waiting for transport so we can get her to Fargo for an autopsy. I'm just bummed that I won't be able to see you before you head back to New York."

"Yeah, me too," he said as he walked into the laundry room and shut the door behind him.

"There's always cell phones and email though right?" she said with hopefulness.

"Yes there is," he replied softly.

"Yeah? I'm sorry, hang on, Martin." He listed to muffled voices when after a few beats she came back on the line and said, "I have to go, work beckons."

"Okay, Happy New Year," he said as he leaned against the back door.

"Happy New Year," she replied before ending the call.

Martin sighed heavily and tucked the cell back into his pocket. He looked out the frost covered window so he could see the moon and, despite himself, he remembered how he spent last New Year's Eve.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

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Sam glanced out the foggy windshield at the bright red 'EMERGENCY ROOM' sign and turned the heater up a notch. She couldn't believe she was spending another New Year's Eve in a car. Of course, last year was a lot more fun.

She was tempted to call David and see what he was up to but they had had only the one date and while she had a great time it seemed a bit too soon to do the midnight phone call. So she would just have to look forward to their next date on Tuesday.

David turned out to be a really nice guy. He was funny, gentlemanly, and extremely handsome. It did not escape Sam's attention that by being with him she was the envy of every woman at the restaurant.

He grew up in West Virginia where his father worked in a steel mill until the day he died. His father valued education above all else so he made certain David and his brothers excelled at school and went to college. He was still close to his brothers who were both married with five kids between them. She wondered if she should ask him what his opinion was on marriage and kids but quickly decided against it, she was on a first date after all.

After dinner he walked her to her car. They stood next to her car and talked for awhile when Sam decided that she wanted to kiss him. So she did. And he was a good kisser, great in fact. But as much as she enjoyed it she couldn't help but make small comparisons to Martin. How differently they both tilted their heads, the texture of their lips, the pressure, etc. A part of her was grateful that David didn't kiss like Martin while the other part felt sad that she would never experience Martin's kisses again.

The passenger door swung open breaking Sam's reverie as a gust of cold wind blew into the car and Danny sat down. He rubbed his hands together before snapping his seatbelt into place. "Okay, we can go now."

She smiled at him as she turned the key in the ignition. "Was Dr. Close able to get your prescription filled?"

Danny looked at her with a devilish grin and replied, "Yes."

He had insisted that they stop at the hospital on their way back to the federal building. Sam tried arguing with him but he was adamant to not let his first New Year's with Emma get off on the wrong foot.

Sam laughed when from the back seat of the car a gruff voice shouted, "I still think this little pit stop violates my rights."

"Shut up!" they both shouted back to the prisoner they were escorting before they just looked at each other and laughed.

As Sam pulled the car into the street she stole a glance at Danny who was grinning from ear to ear. She couldn't help but recall that she felt that happy this time last year as well. She just hoped that 2006 worked out better for him and Emma than 2005 did for her and Martin.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

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_New Year's Eve 2004_

"_Okay, what was your worst New Year's Eve?" Martin asked as he sped along the interstate and glanced at the dashboard clock. It's bright green light reading 11:45 PM. This was not how he hoped to spend his first New Year's Eve with Sam but they were the agents on call and a last minute case canceled their original plan. _

"_That would be when I was 17. My friend, Hallie, and I snuck out to go to this big party and we were wearing these really skimpy outfits. Hallie's car broke down on a random highway so we had to walk 4 miles in the snow looking for a payphone wearing high heels and only our thing dress coats for warmth. We finally found a gas station but everyone we tried to call wasn't home so we ended up having to call my mom. She drove up, took one look at us and I was instantly grounded for the first month of 1990," Sam replied laughing. "Man, she was mad." _

"_That does sound pretty bad," Martin agreed as he looked over at her finding it hard to believe she was with him. She had her head tilted on the head rest and focused on him. _

"_What about you?" she asked. She reached over and pulled his hand off of the steering wheel so she could hold it. _

"_Um, that would be my sophomore year of college. I was home and my parents always have this big party. It's just a bunch of government types, politicians or political wannabes. My sisters and I decided to sneak off with some of the liquor and food and hang out in the basement. We were having a good time until my mother insisted that we go upstairs and make an appearance. We were trying to act like we were cool when we were actually all completely wasted. Reese just sat down on chair and didn't move the rest of the night. I wish Parker and I had thought to do the same because while we were talking to my father's SAC, she grabbed an appetizer off a tray and ate it. Apparently she did not like the way it tasted because she immediately threw up all over SAC Duffy. That's when I discovered that tequila and I don't agree and I did the same." Martin laughed as he changed lanes to pass a slow moving car. "I wasn't grounded but my dad didn't talk to any of us for a week. He yelled but he didn't talk." _

"_I'm surprised your father made it to Deputy Director given his wayward children."_

"_You and me both," he replied with a laugh. "What was your best?"_

_She smiled and said, "This one's getting better every minute." _

_Martin turned to look at her, tugged her hand towards him and said, "That's what I was going to say." _

_She smiled at him as she leaned in close and breathed into his ear, "Pull over." _

"_What?" he asked. Having Sam's warm breath in his ear was very distracting. _

_She bit his earlobe and placed on hand on his thigh and said softly said again, "Pull over. This isn't a busy highway and the case is wrapped up. I want a real New Year's Eve kiss and that's not going to happen if you are driving, so pull the car over and kiss me." _

_He smiled, clicked the turning signal and said, "Your wish is my command." _

_She gave a light laugh as he eyed a spot on the side of the road and slowed the car to a stop. He put the car in park and turned off the ignition. He clicked off his seat belt, turned to Sam and grinned widely. He glanced at the clock: 11:55 PM. He looked back over at her and asked, "So, what do we do until midnight?" _

_She grinned, moved towards him and whispered, "Practice." _

"_Practice does make perfect," he said as his lips met Sam's, tasting and testing. He had had access to her mouth for over four months now and yet each kiss was as exciting as the first. _

_Martin hands slowly traveled from Sam's hip to her side when he heard the unmistakable ringing of his cell phone. He managed to pull back from her hot mouth and body to retrieve his phone from the dashboard. She eyed him carefully, her eyes heavy lidded with desire and panting heavily. As soon as he had the cell phone in hand Sam began to kiss his jaw and neck. It seemed despite Martin's obvious intent to answer the phone she showed no signs of stopping. She continued to kiss him as her hands moved over on his chest and loosened his tie._

_He tried ineffectually to still Sam's wandering fingers with his free hand as he took a deep breath and with his other hand pressed the 'Talk' button answering, "Fitzgerald."_

"_Hi, Jack," he said Jack's name with emphasis hoping to jolt a seemingly unconcerned Sam. But she took no notice as she began gently biting his earlobe. A tactic she knew drove him crazy._

"_We're on our way back now." He desperately tried to pay attention to what Jack was saying but it was really hard with Sam's mouth kissing and sucking his neck as her hand was making quick work of unbuckling his belt. He looked at her and tried to tell her to stop it with his eyes but she just smiled and continued what she was doing._

"_Mm-hmm…" Martin murmured as Jack continued to give him an update on the case when Sam's hand slipped into his pants and boxers. His eyes met hers as she looked at him and smiled wickedly. She gently squeezed him at the base before slowly stroking him. He tried to stop her by grabbing her wrist but while he stilled her stroking she continued to squeeze and release his now very hard member. The pulsing sensation was too much to bear so he quickly told Jack, "Um…what? Say again? Sorry…? bad…nection…..call…back…..tunnel…." _

_He pressed the 'End' button and tossed his cell in the backseat before putting his hands on Sam's face pulling her close so he could kiss her deep and hard. When they broke apart he said, "You are a wicked, wicked woman. I thought you said you just wanted a kiss."_

_Sam just gave him a throaty laugh before saying, "I've changed my mind." _

_Martin glanced at the clock, with Sam doing the same. The clock blinked from 11:59 PM to 12:00 AM. They looked back at each other and he whispered, "Happy New Year, Sam" _

_She smiled and softly replied, "Happy New Year, Martin. Now shut up and kiss me."_

_So he did. _

End Book IV

To be continued in Book V


End file.
